The Shadow That Smiled At Me

Chapter seven

It seems to have become a bit of a habit – I meet Samael and then avoid him. Like a vicious circle. I wander the corridors of Samael's palace and the adjacent gardens. I walk around and explore every inch of his world. When I think that I know it here and I have discovered all the hidden corners, a new, unknown secret door appears, or other stairs leading to an unknown destination. Sometimes the layout of the rooms and the entire interior was changed. I found that this place is constantly changing. One room will be added, the other will disappear. The corridor that turned to the right suddenly turned to the left. The balcony above the Italian Renaissance garden, facing west, is suddenly turned to the east. Night after night I rediscover it here. Basically, I'm not bored here. There is always something to discover. I made fun of it.

I have to admit that I might even be starting to like it here.

That might not be the best way to get out of there when I'm having fun. A bad sign.

So far, no one has figured out my secret, the secret that I'm crazy.

Even though I don't see Samael, he appears in my drawings, even more often than I would like. The entire sketchbook is filled with his portraits. The grouped lines on the paper resembled him, looked like him. But I could never capture those eyes of his, that golden spark in them. When I can't feel their gaze in real time, I have at least the memory of it, and these imprecise drawings.

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Christmas has arrived, one of the most magical holidays of the year for millions of people around the world, especially for children. It didn't snow in Los Angeles, it was too warm for that, but not as warm as in summer, but warm. I would like to experience a white Christmas as they show in the movies. A land shrouded in a white veil, so pure and unblemished. Snowflakes falling from the sky, shimmering in the weak sunlight. Night falls and the snow crystals shine in the moonlight. You go outside and make angels in the freshly fallen snow. Winter and cold stinging the cheeks. Frost drawing flowers on windows.

Our house was decorated with light garlands shining with warm light. The whole street was lit up. All the neighbors cared about the Christmas decorations. It was like an unspoken competition to see who had the most beautifully decorated house.

Christmas Eve came, the calendar announced the twenty-fourth of December. Dusk fell on the land. The setting sun colored the sky in shades of pink and purple. When the last ray went beyond the distant horizon line, the Christmas party at our house could begin.

The guests came gradually, parents' friends, and family that we hadn't seen in a year. And Jessica, she has her annual spot here. Vincent was celebrating at home with his family, but he promised to attend tomorrow's dinner. His parents don't quite like me, so I only go to them if they're not at home.

A tall hemlock tree with thick needles, decorated in the classic colors of red and gold, stood in the entrance hall. A large glittering star was proud of its top. The entrances to the rooms were framed by garlands with ornaments in matching colors. One also ran the length of the stair railing. Where there was mistletoe hanging and every time Jess and I passed under it she gave me a kiss on the cheek. Carols sounded through the air. The Christmas mood filled the room.

I put on the same dress I had worn on my sixteenth birthday when I first entered Samael's world – red, ankle-length satin. My wavy hair fell loosely on my shoulders. My make-up was subtle, almost none.

I walked among the guests and tried to be sociable. Most people asked me about my future plans, college and so on, to which I honestly replied that I didn't know. Of course, my parents already have a vision of my future firmly established. I'm going to study art in New York, where my father's ex-girlfriend from high school teaches. Friends until today. I have not yet been informed about the rest of what will happen to me after I finish my studies. Even though I resist with my whole being, I know that in the end, I will do what they ask of me. I always do that, my big character flaw.