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His POV
The words I had spoken echoed in my ears; each syllable laden with regret. The pain in your eyes, a reflection of the anguish that swirled within me, pierced through my facade, leaving me vulnerable and exposed.
"I want everything right in my marriage. The tiniest mistake can make you regret your decision of signing the contract with us," I asserted, my voice choked with the weight of my own heartache.
But you surprised me, a defiant smile lighting up your face. "Why would I make any mistakes in planning my own marriage?" you retorted, determination burning in your eyes.
Your words ignited a flicker of hope within me, a glimmer of the love we had once shared. A momentary spark of clarity danced between us, reminding me of the pain we had caused each other. Could it be that you still held a flame for me? Was this your way of seeking retribution for the ache you had inflicted upon my soul?
Before I could respond, Emma, my fiancée, came there, her presence a stark reminder of the path I had chosen. I instinctively pulled her close, desperately trying to shield myself from the turmoil raging within me. "I don't think I will be able to take my eyes off her," I declared, my voice laced with a false sense of assurance.
As I glanced at you, the pain flashed across your eyes, a flicker of vulnerability that pricked at my conscience. The three years of separation had not erased the love we had once shared, and now fate had intertwined our lives once more, leaving us to confront the consequences of our choices.
"We'll go to my room," I suggested, my voice trembling with a mixture of longing and trepidation. I led Emma away, the weight of the situation hanging heavily in the air, intertwining with the conflicting emotions that churned within me.
Inside the solitude of my room, my thoughts were consumed by you, overwhelming any attempt to pretend that my heart was not torn. The walls I had built around myself began to crack, and the pain I had inflicted upon you seeped into my consciousness, unraveling the resentment and bitterness that had plagued my every action.
I slightly pushed Emma away saying, "We need to act like we love each other," I paused for a second to look into her eyes and continued, "A lot."
Emma smiled as if she knew what was happening. "She is your ex, right?" I nodded as a confirmation and her smile widened. "I feel that you still love her."
"No, I don't," I exclaimed, my voice laced with certainty but confusion at the same time.
Emma sat on the bed as she said, "Fine. I can do that for you."
I sighed and sat on the couch. "Thanks, Emma."
We spent a few hours in my room talking and scrolling through social media.
As Emma left, I turned to leave as well, only to find you standing there, the intensity in your eyes piercing through the pretense. My heart quickened its pace, torn between the resentment I felt and the overwhelming rush of emotions that threatened to consume me.
Before I could say anything, Noah approached me, announcing a meeting. The distraction provided a momentary respite from the emotional maelstrom swirling within me. I hurriedly made my way to the office, my mind consumed by thoughts of you, grappling with the guilt that gnawed at my conscience.
Days turned into a blur, each one marked by a hollow routine, as I went through the motions of life. I avoided breakfast and dinner, deliberately refusing to acknowledge the meals you had diligently prepared for me each day. Whenever you tried to approach me, I shut you out, immersing myself in the echoes of our fractured past.
One night, as I entered my room after once again rejecting the dinner you had meticulously prepared, you stormed in, visibly agitated. The anger in your eyes ignited a mixture of satisfaction and regret within me.
Your voice trembled with frustration as you demanded answers. "Why are you doing this? I am doing everything to reach out to you, to talk to you, to make you understand. What more do you want?" you yelled, your words punctuating the air with a pained desperation.
In that moment, I felt the gravity of my actions. The wounds you had inflicted upon my heart tore through me, unraveling the layers of bitterness that had consumed me. I reached out to touch you, to bridge the emotional chasm between us, my grip exuding a mixture of desperation and longing. My voice, a mere whisper on the edge of breaking, trembled as I spoke, "Guess now you know what I want."
Your gaze met mine, your racing heartbeat echoing the tumult within my own chest. The air crackled with anticipation, the tension between us nearly suffocating. But before I could close the distance, before I could erase the pain from both our souls with one fleeting touch, you pushed me away.
"What are you doing, Kookie? You are not my Kookie. When we were together, you never touched me without my consent. What has happened to you?" Your voice quivered with disappointment and anger, piercing my heart with the weight of your words.
Confusion raged within me, threatening to consume me whole. I stumbled, desperately trying to understand the turmoil that gripped my heart. "What are you talking about? What do you expect me to do in this situation? You're the one who's already married, who has experience," I shot back, my words laced with bitterness born from my own pain.
The color drained from your face as you vehemently denied any supposed marriage. "How many times do I have to tell you? I am not married. I have only loved you. Why can't you believe me?" Your voice cracked, anguish dripping from each word. "Since when did you become like your father, Jungkook?" you whispered, your pain etched across your features.
Your revelation struck me like lightning, unraveling memories of my father's coldness and the mistakes he had made. The weight of those memories bore down on me, exposing the cracks in my own character. In that moment, the facade I had so meticulously constructed shattered, leaving behind only regret and a longing to reclaim what I had lost.
"What do you mean?" I managed to utter, my voice no longer coated in icy detachment but stained with vulnerability.
Your voice quivered, a mix of sorrow and resolve vibrating through your words. "I mean you're pushing away the one person who has loved you selflessly. Can't you see the pain you're causing both of us?"
Tears welled in your eyes, mirroring the anguish that resided within my own soul. It was then that my walls began to crumble, and the true depth of my feelings surged to the surface. Regret surged through me, threatening to drown me in its relentless waves. I reached out to touch your trembling form, my fingers poised in mid-air, yearning for connection. Begging for forgiveness and understanding, I longed for a chance to repair the damage that had inflicted upon our sacred bond. But you stepped back, a mixture of sorrow and resolve etched across your face.
"I cannot continue like this, Jungkook. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve someone who constantly pushes me away. I want the old Jungkook back. I want my Kookie back, and I'll fight to bring him back. You will see that, Jungkook," you declared, your voice laced with a newfound strength.
As you turned to walk away, the weight of your words settled upon my shoulders, a heavy burden to bear. The room seemed to close in around me, suffocating me with the weight of my own mistakes. A single tear escaped my eye, tracing a path down my cheek, as the pain of my actions finally pierced through my hardened exterior.
I watched helplessly as you walked away, my heart shattered into a million pieces, each one a sharp reminder of the love I had carelessly discarded. In that lonely moment, I made a silent vow to myself. I would find a way to make amends, to prove that I was capable of change. I had to reclaim my true self, the Kookie you had once known and loved.
But the pain of that day made me throw the thought to change and become crueler towards you. I wanted to make you feel the pain I had went through and the only way to do that was to marry Emma.
