Fade Into You | ↺

1 | I Wanna Be Adored

I looked over my right shoulder before I crossed the street, headphones in, blaring heavy metal from my headphones. When I left home I nearly forgot them, which would've probably caused me to be even more nervous than I am now. I'm on my way to meet my friend in the city, before we go to a concert. Well, I'm going to be honest, I really like the band and especially that one guy who's singing and playing guitar. All the guys from the band are at the same school as me but I haven't noticed that guy, well, Lennon, until I've seen them live at a school concert recently. He's amazing, he really knows what he's doing, playing and singing and their songs are also really amazing.

Crossing the street, I felt the excitement rush through my whole body as I felt more nervous every second. Waiting at the bus station and just standing there also didn't make it better so I chose to put on black metal to kinda just try to shut out everything. Sometimes you need to go from heavy to heavier. Normally I didn't listen to metal that much, it was great for times when I'd been angry or for studying or when I felt like it.

The Bus finally came and I stepped in, quickly moved to a free seat and sat down, letting out a small breather to calm myself down a bit. I knew I was overreacting, nothing's happening after all, I was just going to go to a small concert and I happen to like the Guy even though I've never spoken to him.

As I calmed down I switched the music from black metal, some Darkthrone to a song Lennon and his band usually cover. It's Love Buzz by Nirvana, absolutely love that song. It even was one of my favourite Nirvana songs long before I started liking Lennon. Well, whatever liking him means, I wouldn't know, never had a Boyfriend before and I'm 16, nearly 17 . Wanted one but kind of just liked the wrong guys, boys that never felt the same about me so I got used to guys not liking me back. To admire them from a distance.

I always wondered what loving someone feels like, or to be loved in a romantic way, but I think I also am a bit afraid.

The bus stopped in the city Andoshire, at the central station, since the small pub where Lennons band would be playing was near there. I stepped out of the bus and immediately spotted my friend Ana. She was waving at me and had a big grin plastered on her face. She knew how exited I was to see Lennon playing live again and how I hoped that he would maybe notice me and talk to me. Ana and I always made up plans how we wanted to approach him and what I could say to him. Well, last time I didn't have the courage to go to him and actually talk so I think making plans was just a part of me hoping that something would happen.

„You made it here!!!" Ana squealed and hugged me tightly, as if we hadn't seen each other for months and as if I didn't had only 20 minutes with the bus until here.

„Yes, really weird. I thought I would never make it," I said and laughed as I linked arms with her.

„Ah fuck off, you know what I meant", she shouted jokingly and giggled.

🎸♪✮☠︎︎

We made it a bit early and were waiting inside the pub for the concert to start. Sometimes, Lennon and his band members were also in the pub and greeting people they know. I knew someone from The Skulls, Lennon's band, he also greeted me last time I was at a concert, I don't know how Floyd knew me but he knew Ana so I guess that was why.

Floyd also came up to us this time to greet us, which I found really nice of him to do. It showed that they cared, or at least that he cared who came to their concerts.

„Hey you two, thanks for coming today," Floyd said and flicked his shoulder long black curls out of his face, smiled and then hugged me after he had hugged Ana.

„We love to see you guys live, you're songs are amazing," Ana said and I nodded my head in agreement. „And you guys play amazing," she added and I had to hold back a laughter because it was so cute how she complimented him and he didn't even notice that she liked him. He always was kind and kind of flirted back when she made him compliments but that was because he liked her, he was completely oblivious to her feelings about him.

„We wouldn't be us without such great fans as you are," he said and winked, while Ana's cheeks were turning bright red. Floyd quickly looked around to check what's going on and as he saw Lennon, he smirked at him and made movements with his head to gesture that he should come to us but Lennon shook his head and turned back to the guy and the girl he was talking to. Floyd brought his attention back to us and made a bit smalltalk, mostly listening to Ana going on about how much she liked certain artists. He just didn't know that she learned to love them because of him. How cute. I chose to not interfere too much in their conversation and watched a few people in the pub. Floyd had his typical jeans on and black boots along with a Tool band shirt. One band Ana talked a lot about, since she started listening to them because of Floyd. His brown eyes seemed to match his dark curls and his freckles perfectly.

But Lennon was something else. Although I found Floyd attractive from his looks, he was nothing against Lennon, even though they both played the guitar in The Skulls. Lennon was everything I never knew I was looking for in a guy, which sounded very weird to think, considering I didn't even personally know the guy. Lennon had some sort of a shorter loose wolfcut mullet style something done with his hair, couldn't 't really tell what exactly it was but it looked amazing on him, making his dark brown eyes that nearly seemed black stand out even more with his dark hair. A lot of hair strands were in his face though so I wasn't really sure if the point of that was just to look mysterious or if he did it by accident. He had a white long sleeved shirt on with a blue The Stone Roses shirt on, it was the one with the lemon. Aye that Lad had taste. And I too, if we didn't ignore the fact that I found him stunningly beautiful.

„Angela, can I call you Ella?" Floyd asked, making me stop my thoughts about Lennon and bringing me back to reality.

„I ugh," I started saying but he continued talking.

„You don't have to say yes, it's just that my little sister who's about your age is also named Angela, I call her Ella and you remind me of her. I was just thinking that but now that I think of it it might seem very weird, I'm sorry," Floyd laughed and gave me and Ana an apologetic look. That was so sweet of him, I thought. He's such a nice guy and I think he and Ana would make a great team.

„Ah don't worry mate, sure you can, a lot of people call me that," I said while Ana nodded in agreement.

„I always call her Ella," Ana grinned and nudged Floyd's shoulder lightly and he started to smile.

„Well, I'm relieved. Thanks for coming again and I hope you're gonna have a lush time, enjoy the Shitshow mates! Ella, An," he smirked and then left after winking at Ana. God he always said that Shitshow part. Must be some running gag.

After Ana made sure that he was gone she slowly turned to me and started to silently flip out.

„Did you hear that," she screamed. „HE GAVE ME A NICKNAME AND WINKED AT ME, ELLA OH MY GOD I THINK I HAVE A CHANCE!!!!" Ana was so excited, it made me so happy for her. I looked over to Lennon and saw that Floyd was looking at Ana and smiling shyly, aye they were so fucking cute.

🎸♪✮☠︎︎

Then the gig would soon get started. I was so fucking nervous the whole time before the concert, Ana had to try to calm me down several times. But I still wasn't sure why I've been so nervous at all, I wasn't the one on the stage and Lennon still didn't know who I was. I've been on Instagram a few times this evening, contemplating to Ana wether I should request Lennon on instagram or not. He didn't have much followers so I was afraid that he might not accept my request. God I hated Cellphones sometimes.

Lennon walked on stage with his flying V, if course it was his flying V. I had heard from Floyd how much Lennon loved that guitar and he really didn't lie. The rest of the band followed shortly after. Floyd on first guitar, Ace on the bass, Chris on the drums and of course, Lennon on second guitar and vocals.

"Aye mates, we're The Skulls and we're gonna play some fucking tunes tonight, welcome to the shitshow!" Lennon said in the microphone and then immediately started playing the first riffs.

And just like that the gig started.