Obsessive | Mitchel Cave •(Chase Atlantic)

4| Slide

Mitchel opens the screen door from the backyard.

"You guys done yet?" He says from outside.

I turn to look at Clinton.

He looks away from me.

"Yeah all good man, she's all yours now" He responds before shooting me a smile, and going upstairs.

Mitchel shoots me a thumbs up and goes to sit back down, leaving the screen door open for me.

I sigh and make my way over to Mitchel and Christian in the backyard.

It's October, so the weather is gloomy. The kind of weather I like. Where it looks like it's going to rain, although it won't, and where it's not too hot, but not too cold. I love fall. And all the leaves, colours, and pumpkins.

I go over and sit on Mitchel's lap.

"Feeling bold eh?" He tells me.

I look over to Christian for a second.

I notice there's a bunch of sticks, and he has a lighter.

They're trying to start a bonfire.

"Do you guys have matches?" I ask, lowkey ignoring what Mitchel just said to me.

Every single relationship, wether it'd be platonic or romantic, I get very comfortable easy, which makes me also get attached easily.

Because of this i've always been shamed by people for taking things "too fast" or for being "too progressive".

But I just love feeling loved.

I'm a lover girl at heart.

However, I also love validation.

So after my last break up, I never wanted another relationship, at least not for a while.

I had a few talking stages here and there, some major, and some minor, wether it'd be a couple of dates, or just texting, just to fill the void in my heart, as sometimes I'd feel as if my only purpose in life, is to give love to others, and if i don't, I just feel useless.

While all of this was happening, as I was trying to change to please others, Aleia would give me a different response then the ones i've heard from people, that's how I know me changing was working.

She'd tell me i'm, "too serious" and that I "have to let my guard down a little", that "I had too many walls up" and "I push people and opportunities away".

At this point, I cant even tell if I was fighting with others, fighting with Aleia, or fighting with myself.

I feel bad for her, I really do, as i've become like other people, and i've now become the voice I hated hearing. The one to say who's taking things too far as if it's my place.

Talking with a man who's actually tried to understand her more then me at this point, made me realize the best thing I can do in this situation, is to finally be myself, and let others do the same as well.

"Yeah i've got some matches in my pocket, but don't you think the lighter is better?" He replies.

I get up and take the matches from his pocket.

"Matches over lighters" I snark, picking up the gas tank and spilling more on the pile.

I take a match lighting it, dropping it onto the pile of wood, then slowly watch it light one of the sticks , as I take a couple others doing the same. Until most of the sticks are on fire, spreading onto each other, as I feel the warmth get hotter and hotter.