At the Infirmary

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A/n: Tissue warning. They may be needed for this one.

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Rain sighed in relief when he was able to make it to the infirmary without running into anyone else, relief that ebbed away to the stirrings of panic. The medical ward had its own wing of the ministry and seemed so out of place compared to the older look and feel of the rest of the building. Too bright lights and white tile floors with an overly clean and medical smell that never went away. It irritated his eyes and nose but he would put up with it and the memories that it dragged up of when he was stuck here for weeks recovering from when Kali attacked and so very nearly killed him all those years ago. Anything to see for himself that she was okay.

He entered through the main doors to the ward, the windows set in them a frosted glass with “INFIRMARY” boldly painted on them and made his way to the front reception desk where a Sister of Sin sat behind the computer typing something, the clacking of the keys the only sound in the otherwise silent area. Unlike the normal black uniform the siblings wore, those stationed here wore white with a red embroidered grucifix on their left sleeve just below the shoulder.

“Uh..um.. H-hi,” he manages softly, chewing at his lip. The sister continues typing at her computer having not noticed or heard him and a soft blush rises to his cheeks before he tries again, louder. “H-hello. I.. I’m h-here to see Cumulus?”

“Hmm?” The sister finally looks up and gives him a warm smile. “Hi! Sorry about that! What can I help you with today? Did you have an appointment?”

Rain shakes his head and swallows before answering. “I’m here to, uh, see Cumulus? I was…was told she’s awake and… and that I could see her now.”

“The ghoulette?” Rain nods and she types something into her computer before giving a sad frown. “I’m sorry, but she’s not supposed to have visitors aside from who’s on this list, and you’re not on the list.”

Rain’s eyes widen and his heart drops. “B-but… I was told that I could.”

“I’m sorry. Whoever told you that was wrong.”

“But.. I have to see her! Please!” His breathing quickened and he started to panic. He already didn’t want to be here, was already fighting back flashes and memories of pain and agony and being so hurt, but he came for her, to see her. He needed to see her, so to be told he couldn’t? He couldn’t handle that and his eyes darted around the desk not really focusing on anything. “Please I have to see her!”

The sister behind the desk tries to tell him he needs to leave since he’s not on the list, but he doesn’t register her. His arms come up to wrap around his middle as he curls in on himself. It was already too much before, and he couldn’t handle it anymore. Any wall or facade he had managed to crudely erect on his way here was quickly crumbling as he spiraled. He felt light headed, his breathing quick and shallow as he stumbled back. It was too bright. The walls were too close and slowly getting closer. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t –!

“Rain!” Hands grabbed at his arms and the white was obscured by a wall of black but he couldn’t focus on who or what had a hold of him. “Rain, hey. Breathe. Breathe, you’re okay. You’re okay.”

Rain’s eyes darted back and forth unable to focus. He heard the voice say something else, but he couldn’t tell you what it said or who it was said to. Whoever it was, he knew them in the back of his mind, so he wasn’t scared and didn’t fight it when he felt them pulling him down the hall and into a dark room but he had no conscious control over his legs. He just let them lead. More mumbled barely registered words in that soothing tone but he couldn’t make it out over the pounding of his heart in his ears. He was breathing too fast and too hard, he knew that, but he couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to be here. He felt trapped. Light headed. Flashes of memories flooded his mind. His chest hurt, a searing phantom pain over the scars there that made him gasp and hiss out, curling in more on himself. He was on the floor. Kneeling. The hard pressure in his knees told him that much yet the other voice still didn’t stop. The hands that grabbed his arms smoothed over his hair and face, holding it almost tenderly but he could barely feel it. Until he could feel… it.

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