Rear View [Zayn centric]

Epilogue

Zain had always been a person who could easily focus on the good things surrounding him instead of the negative aspects of his life. He was simply that way; trying not to think too much in order to avoid getting overwhelmed, only sharing his true feelings to his closest people and the main opinion about himself had always been his own. He knew himself and respected his limits, so he had very clear when he needed to do something for himself, and he would do it even if that meant turning the whole planet against him. He didn't care.

And that's why he didn't care about leaving the band so he could solve all the problems he had going on. When he got home after leaving the band, he had to focus on his mental and physical health first, but it was harder than he thought because during his years on the band his coping mechanism had been working non stop. And so he did. He had to sit with himself to analyze and validate whatever he was feeling, and all the things he had – and was still – going through, and come to terms with it. And his way of doing that was drowning on his own lyrics and poetry, looking for a sound that would be able to reflect his influences and his thoughts and experiences, looking for a sound that was his, and no one else's.

During this process, he tried to contact his ex mates, but no one answered the phone. He wrote a tweet congratulating their new work, but again, no one answered. What he got were some comments regarding his departure that let him wondering if he should consider them from his close circle of people, or if he should move on, being this very silence surrounding them an answer itself.

So, he did what he had to do, and moved on for his own shake. And he did his own terms: releasing his true self through his music. This way, Pillowtalk was born and so was his first album, Mind Of Mine, that were an absolute bop. They were the result of everything he had bottled up inside himself without even knowing it. Before he could even process it, he was acting in front of many people again, and the same doubts and fears that used to chase him when he was in the band, had followed him through his solo self artist. But he took it as part of the process of becoming a new version of himself, as part of getting to listen what his body demands and what his mind and mental health truly need. And that is why, sever years later, he found himself on a podcast (overcoming his creeping anxiety) trying to be the bestest Zain he could be, but this time, not only for himself or for the world to see him, but to be the best baba he could to his little princess.