Rear View [Zayn centric]

Chapter 2

The days passed and soon they were starting the new tour, named On The Road Again. They didn't have a proper vacation during their stay in London because they were busy with the dates and starting to write the new album. Anyways, they could sneak a couple of days to spend them with their families.

Zain couldn't explain with words how relived he felt when he first arrived home after such a long time away from his family. He had always been very close to them and he never felt ashamed of that. To him, they were their main source of support and they brought him the peace his anxious mind usually needed.

There was no difference this time.

When he woke up that morning he could only think about how comfortable he was sleeping in his own bed, in his own room, surrounded by all the memories he made there while growing up. All the laughs and teasing with his sisters, the heart-to-heart talks he used to have with his mum until one of them fell asleep too tired to keep talking and all the evenings he spent there with his baba watching some Bollywood film and enjoying its music and colors.

The next thing he realized he had missed badly was the smell of home made food. He loved the food his mother cooked for him when he came home. It was what motivated him to get out of bed that morning. The image of his mum talking with his sisters sitting by the kitchen table while they gossiped something about their neighbor's new curtains or their new car, which was a little too big for an old couple with no children. He didn't have to imagine it anymore, since it was exactly what was happening when he appeared in the kitchen. Doniya smiled at him, kind of a sad smile that Zain let slide because he knew how she missed him being around all the time to bitch her about some boy or ask her about that new friend she made. Wali was in that age in which she was too cool to tell him how bad she needed him to be there and spend time with her and show her this new place and take her to somewhere beautiful just to talk to him like they used to before all the chaos his life had become. And there was Safaa, the youngest, and his favorite. He loved her with all his soul and he would do anything she asked him without even blinking. She was the apple of his eye, and he was hers. Their relationship was so genuine and so purely beautiful that the other two sisters used to be jealous of it when they were younger.

Safaa had no problem in showing Zain how much she loved him, and that's one of the reasons he hated to come home. Because he had to see her devastated face every time he'd leave, and break both of their hearts, hers, and his own.

"What you thinking about bhai?" Doniya broke him out of his thoughts. He just shook his head and smiled slightly at her before kissing the top of her head. His mother watched them tenderly and, for a moment, he knew that she was aware of how he was being attacked by a wave of nostalgia. He felt like she knew how hard it was going to be for him to leave this time, how tired he seemed and how he didn't glow us much as he used to before.

"S'Nothing" He replied with raspy voice while he sitted beside Waliyha and rested his head on her shoulder. The younger girl seemed very touched by his gesture, running her fingers through his silky black hair with a sad smile that mirrored his brother's. "I'm leaving later this afternoon" He said, and closed his eyes momentarily, trying to put his thoughts in order.

"Again?" Safaa said "But I don't want you to leave, bhai, you're never here anymore!" the little one exclaimed, and it took everything in Zain's heart to not cry in that very moment.

There was an awkward silence while all the women expected Zain to answer, but words never came out of his mouth. He felt suffocated and suddenly, it was like if he was disappointing all of them. When he looked at them he felt he could touch all the pain he was causing to his family.

"M'Sorry" He told them, his accent thicker and full of emotion. There wasn't much more to say, and all of them knew. "Where's baba?" He then asked, partly because he was curious, mainly because he needed to get away from the kitchen. When his mum shrugged and the girls made a face that meant they didn't know, Zain just left the room and went to the porch to lit a cigarette.

His mind was starting to wander through some dark memories he had when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head to meet a pair of brown eyes that reminded him of his own. His father's face was blank, it didn't hold any kind of emotion and it didn't reveal any feeling either. It disturbed Zain a little, but he didn't dare to ask. Because he knew.

"When are you leaving, beta?" His voice was deep and there was a tint of pride that made the younger boy feel slightly better with himself, like some kind of light among the darkness that was encircling him. He let the smoke blow out of his nostrils and threw the cigarette before saying anything, because he knew how much his baba hated that habit of his.

"This evening" the words left his lips in a barely audible sigh.

"You know, beta, I'm very proud of you. I get that is hard being far from home because I raised you and I know how much you relay on us. And that is why I am saying this to you, to keep you calm. There is a moment, a time, a place for everything, and now you are where you need to be, which isn't very common at such a young age like yours. Even if it's hard, you are thos, beta, and you know that. I have faith in you and I've seen your talent. Don't let anyone bring you down, not even yourself, Zain, not when you've come so far, when you have achieved so many things. I'll pray for you while you're away, I promise that. Mein ap say muhabat karta hoon, beta."

Zain wasn't an easy crier, to be honest. He was pretty reserved when it came to that kind of emotions. Nevertheless, that evening, while he was saying his goodbyes to his family, he did cry. A fucking river. He hugged each one of the members of his family and went right away to the car that was waiting for him, not even once looking back.