What If Instead Of...

33 Vivian

"I can't help myself when you're around."

Our breathing is hot and intermittent from tension. Finally, having finished with the internal struggle, I throw my leg over Aiden's thigh.

"What do you think you're doing?" the guy asks, looking at me with predatory eyes, while I try to remain at ease. "Just getting comfortable."

It's not surprising that soon the promise is shamelessly broken.

***

Aiden wakes me up around eight in the morning, and my first question is, "Is Meg still here?"

"Yes, she's still sleeping, but we'll have to leave soon. I'm already risking a lot, letting you sleep longer: in the light of day, the probability of being noticed is much bigger."

His fears make me finally wake up and get ready. Immediately after washing, I head to the kitchen to make a light breakfast, simultaneously thinking about what to put all the things Meg bought into so as not to arouse suspicion on the other side.
So far, I see only one option - to give her my bag, which I brought from home along with the documents.

For all this unexpected, but pleasant turmoil of the last day, I managed to distract myself from my failed interviews and not fall into the abyss of self-flagellation. Probably, this moment is just delayed for a short period of time.

"In the next life, I want to be a volcano so I can sleep for centuries," mutters disheveled Meg in one of my pajamas, with the leg pulled up, and rubs her slightly swollen eye.

"I know just how you feel, Meggie," I smile back at her. "Aiden said you need to be on your way very soon, so I hurried to prepare breakfast. Sandwiches were the fastest to make. Unless you want soup," I laugh.

"You know, actually, I can eat anything for breakfast: soup, salad, pie, roast, and so on, but now I really don't have time for that." My friend takes a sandwich and her face darkens.

"When you finish, we will go to pack your things: our task is to fit absolutely all yesterday's purchases and gifts."

Finally getting down to business, I'm surprised to find there is still quite a lot of space in the bag.
I should have bought more books after all!

"Are you ready?" Aiden looks in on us a little too soon.

"Yes," Meg replies, while I say "No."

I will never be ready for a new goodbye.

Instead of words, I once again reach out to my friend to hug her tightly. In all the years of our friendship, we haven't hugged as much as we have in the last 24 hours.

"It's time, Vivi. I don't want to let Aiden down," Meg whispers, patting me on the back.

"I wish you a safe trip," I get out words.

At the moment when the idea comes to me to go with them, Aiden expresses his categorical disapproval, explaining that the responsibility for both of us will put even more pressure on him.

Trying to control my emotions, I hug my friend once again before going out and stand on the stairwell, watching them go, after which I run to the window and watch the car with my dearest people disappear.

To distract myself, I decide to go to the nearest park, get some air and be filled with the tranquility of nature.

When I'm alone with myself, self-eating attacks me again. I feel worthless once again. I still don't work where I want to, I failed the interviews (which I'm unlikely to regret, but it's still tense, because I once again continue to beat at closed doors, trying to find a place for myself, and keep failing).
I'm afraid those efforts in acquiring relevant knowledge may simply not be useful to me, because I don't have the opportunity to apply them somewhere.

After admiring the beautiful flowers in the local greenhouse, I get on the bus and return home in thought to meet Aiden - I need his support and warmth so much now.
His words and hugs magically give me hope and strength to fight on and go forward, even if I don't quite understand what awaits me around the corner.

I decide to get off one stop earlier to pop to the store: yesterday, in Grace's cookbook, I chose Caesar salad for cooking and today I can't help myself, how I want to try it.

In fact, I only need to buy a few ingredients - we have stocked up on groceries quite well recently.

Approaching the apartment building and rejoicing that in the near future I will be able to please myself and Aiden with delicious food (the recipe doesn't look so complicated), I look up to check if the guy has returned home, and I see something that makes me slow down first, and then stop altogether and go around the corner.

There is a beige car right in front of our entrance.
A police car that shouldn't be here.

I peek cautiously around the corner, trying to make out Aiden's car, but fortunately, it seems he hasn't arrived yet.

Adrenaline is beating hysterically through my veins, a swarm of thoughts does not allow me to focus on the most important thing. Did they come for me or for Aiden?
How many times have I worried his smuggling activities would bring him to prison, and now the fears are confirmed.
But at the same time, the police could have come for me, since I automatically ended up on the missing people list. And what if they did notice on the cameras that I was recently in my parents' apartment, and tracked me down? Or did they suddenly detain Aiden and Meg and find out there was another lawbreaker?

God, there are so many questions, my head is spinning, but I can't just keep standing here - I have to either hide or surrender.

And I choose to surrender, because even if they came for Aiden, I will find a way to negotiate with them to take me instead of him.

==== THE END OF THE SECOND BOOK OF THE SERIES ====

TO BE CONTINUED...