What If Instead Of...

15 Vivian

It's hard for me to think straight in the situation I'm in right now.

"Aiden...ah, now...is not the best time..."

The guy interrupts my attempt to speak with a deep kiss.

I suppose he has already realized that he chose the wrong moment.
Only if his plan was not to take advantage of my current vulnerability...

I dismiss disturbing thoughts and return to reality, where my man shows love to my body.

Every time I frown, Aiden reads my emotions and kisses the pain he inadvertently causes.

He just has no idea how much more intense suffering I'm used to experiencing. The inconveniences that I have to feel now can even be called pleasant.
The more time passes, the less I pay attention to them.

How fascinating it is to see such a tough man so gentle and caring!

He is my fortress, behind the walls of which I fear nothing.
Moreover, my body is wrapped in him right now, like he's my armor.

"Don't let me go," I whisper, entwining even more tightly with Aiden.

"Never," he promises, breathing raggedly, his voice husky.

I catch myself thinking that the most inflaming thing for me is our breathing - heavy, hot and shaky.
We share every breath as though we're one.

As a whole, what I'm feeling right now is beyond any comparison and description.

This is unity, a connection of an unearthly order. Something ancient, primordial, savage, cosmic. Raw emotions, fervent feelings.

Truly the best feeling in the world is to be skin to skin, heart to heart, soul to soul with someone you love ardently and unconditionally.

After all, Aiden kisses my shoulder, falls on his back, gives us both some time to catch our breaths and eventually pulls me to him.

I make myself comfortable, resting my head on his chest.

"Don't you regret that it's me?" he suddenly asks, overcome by inner doubts.

I raise myself on my elbow and, surprised, even a little scared, look into his eyes, "No, never."

I want to tell him that I love him, but remembering my failed first experience of love confession and what followed, I change my mind, "Thank you for thinking of my comfort."

"Always," he replies shortly, kissing my hair when I find myself on his chest again.

Surprisingly, I don't feel shy about my nakedness at all. Perhaps it's a matter of great fatigue, and in many ways of the fact that the room is hardly lit by a bedside lamp.

"Aiden, is there anything better than sex?" I wonder, snuggling up to the guy drowsily.

"Yes, lovemaking," he replies with a smile, tracing the curves of my body with his hand. "I discovered it today thanks to you."

I hide my face, shy, melting with happiness.

"I love the way you blush. I'm going to miss it."

"You think it will change?"

"Yeah, definitely. In the future, I'll be the one blushing," the guy laughs, wrapping his arms around me, but then his face quickly darkens. "I'm sorry I ruined your innocence in every possible way."

"Please don't say that. You give me so much more," I try to assure, basking in the warmth of his lulling embrace.

Another sad, incredulous laugh escapes Aiden's lips, "What's the best thing I'm giving you?"