4. Little Fib

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  I am so incredibly sorry that I missed last weeks upload.
It's summer and I cannot keep it straight.
Luckily not many people read yet, ya?

   It is now Thursday and I am NOT OVER it. But I am forcing myself to be normal. I am not letting it affect my outer presence. My brain is a total wreck but nobody, save for me, has to know it. Through all of the circumstances I am being very normal. Danica's gone and her absence has left a noticeable impact on our parents.

And although I am pretending that everything is normal, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is normal.  It seems as though I am the only one who is trying to be like "everything is fine, I'm fine." Try to believe I'm fine.

I am the only one in my life who has it put together. I am the one calming everyone else down, I am this thing that is holding everyone and everything upright.
  But I can barely keep myself from crumbling and shattering. This is just ridiculous, this is unacceptable.

  One of the main problems is that without Danica, my parents have left me completely to my own devices. They were pretty hands off before and I am actually okay with that but now they seem to not care what I do, at all. I mean it is the first week of school and I am already having a difficult time.


    I am ready for bed, ready for sleep. My parents are gone and Sammy is spending the night. She has been asleep since six this evening, right after she ate my diner.
   She came over unannounced, but that usually doesn't bother me, so it's fine. Except, I haven't had any real food today and the last time I did consume something was at one in the afternoon.

I'm about to flip the light switch and I hear my parents burst through the front door.
I'm doomed
  "Hey, Matty!" My dad yells down the hall from the kitchen.
  "Andrew! She might be asleep. Keep it down!" Mom whisper screams.
To late now,
  I hear Sammy stretch on the bed.
Sammy's awake.

I poke my head out the door to see if they are going to bed and I see both of my parents with smiles on their faces, while my dad nods his head, hands raised in mock surrender.
  They walked down the other side of the house, softly giggling to each other as they enter their room.

When I fully enclose myself inside my room Sammy is already standing on my bed.
  She whisper yells, "Party time!"
With a wide grin and droopy eyes.
I am not getting any sleep tonight.
  And I didn't. Not a single wink because once Sammy fell back asleep there was only two hours left until I was supposed to be awake and it takes a full hour of nothingness for me to fall asleep.
At this point I'm not even tired anymore.
  At least I try to believe, so I can live another day.

  I decided to make a full breakfast with all this extra time. Eggs, hashbrowns, sausage, bacon, lemonade and orange juice. By the time Sammy woke up again, everything was set at the table and I had a batch of protein cookies made as well as Banana bread.

While I got my shower things ready Sammy did a six minute oil pull. She used the bathroom as I set up my soaps and my 'after shower' things. For some steam before I get in the shower, I turn the water as hot as it will go.
  "We don't have anymore slightly green bananas but I did make proper banana bread."
  I informed Sammy as my shirt came over my head.

She dried her hands as my pants fell to the floor and before Sammy got out the door I reminded her, "Be sure that your quiet."
  "Rodger that, Capin' Matty!" She whisper yelled and saluted me.

The last gulp of cool air rushed in and the steam rolled around as Sammy quickly and quietly closed the bathroom door.
  I got in the water, after turning the temperature down to almost cold and skidded the shower curtain across the rail, listening to the only sound that came after.

My fake rain to make a minutes long, escape.

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