Holding On

Fifty Five

”Sugar, why didn't you call me like we agreed?” George asked somewhat reprehensibly as he got out of his car and met her in front of the gate, reaching to take her bag from her. “You got me worried sick and I was heading to the airport to look for you.”

She looked at George, the love and concern in his eyes for her, and her heart begun cracking. She was going to lose it all soon, his love. The only thing keeping the susceptible organ in her chest from shattering was the hope that George, being his good self, would decide to forgive her flaws.

“I'm sorry, I just needed to do something very important.” She held his hand as they walked back into the house. “Have you eaten?”

She sudden felt him withdraw again like he was doing before she left for Carlifornia. “Maggie was about serving something, but I realized you were keeping too long and your phone was switched off.”

Dinner was an awkward affair, with George seeming unnerved and she filled with fear, and they ate in perpetual silence, her aunt gazing between them speculatively. Eva had picked up Amy hours ago. Seemingly trying to break the tension, the older woman asked, “How do you feel after forgiving your father?” It was obvious George had informed her already.

Emma shrugged as a happy smile stole the edges of her lips and curved them up. “I can't explain precisely, aunt. But it feels. . . wonderful.” She turned to look at George and met his eyes. “You were right, coconut. It does feel nice to live without the burden of an anger for someone deep in your heart.”

George smiled, and Emma went on to talk about Martha and Jake and Jack and the coffee event they'd attended. When dinner was over, it suddenly dawned on Emma that it was time—time to tell George the truth and risk losing him.

George silently led her upstairs. Once they were in the room he led her to the bed, and she sat beside him. “Sugar, there's something I need to tell you.”

“No George. What I have to tell you is more important.” She felt her lips tremble. She didn't want George to share good news only for her to crush his happiness with her confession.

Feeling a well of emotion, she kissed him passionately, fearing that it was going to be their last. Pulling back, she fought and thrashed and trampled the fears that were trying to weigh down her resolve, and before exhaustion took her from struggling against the strong force, she let it out.

“I've cheated on you.”

Waiting for a reaction, she looked into his eyes, her heart pounding wildly against her chest, each pulse of the vital organ trampling her hopes and feeding her apprehension.

His eyes crinkled uncertainly, and a confused smile touched his lips. “I don't understand. What do you mean by you've cheated on me?” He asked as if the answer wasn't the most obvious thing.

Realizing how much damage her choice of words could do, she hastened to make it better. “I don't mean I actually cheated on you as in I and... It's just. I lied to you. I've been lying to you for weeks now.”

“Just what could you lie about?” He looked at her quizzically, his smile slowly morphing into a frown.

“About Zain.” She had to force the words past her furious heart. “I lied when I told you that the two of us were merely friends back in university. He's that Zain, the man I'd been in love with. The one who's cancer separated us.”

Shock and denial blazed in his eyes as he smiled shakily, like he wasn't quite ready to believe her. “What are you saying, sugar? You couldn't have lied to me. You wouldn't. Tell me this is just some kind of joke.” She nearly flinched when he held her hand and looked into her eyes, green eyes intense and analytic and yet pleading.