JENLISA | ANGUISH |

Chapter 26 - Breathe

We are now singing our last song for the Hyde park show. Every second of it was magical and it was all because of the energy that the blinks gave tonight. Everybody was singing and dancing their hearts out and that's what we performers could ever ask for.

'One lively, dedicated fan is worth more than a million people who don't feel a connection to our music or performance.'

This is what I always think of, when I read or hear something bad about me or the girls. Jisoo unnie was the one who told us this quote. It was when we were all getting hate from the antis and even the so-called blinks who doesn't support all of us.

It was a hard time then but we fought and pushed through and eventually got through it together. All four of us. We cried and healed together and I learned how strong and dependable my members are.

We knew then that the true Blinks supports every single member of BLACKPINK.

As we walked down the stage we were greeted with 'congratulations' and high fives from our staff and dancers. All of us were walking to our assigned trailers when I felt everyone stop behind me.

I turned around, all of them were looking at something or someone. I couldn't see what they were looking at so I craned my neck and went on my tiptoes.

The second I saw what it was I grabbed Alice's wrist and turned to her. "Go and find our medstaff." I say urgently.

"What's happening?" She asks but I don't have time to explain.

"Just run Alice!" She hears the desperation on my voice so she runs without turning back.

I squeezed myself between the staff and dancers to get to Jennie unnie. As I passed Kiel I say. "You guys can go ahead to our area and give us some privacy please."

I don't wait for his answer I head straight to where the girls are. Jennie unnie is hunched over a chair trying desperately to slow down her breathing. Alison is kneeling in front of her trying to help but it wasn't working. When she saw me approaching she stands up immediately without me having to ask her.

I tilt my head to the people who don't need to see what's happening, to tell her to get everyone out of here. Thankfully, she understood and got to work immediately.

Jisoo unnie and Rosie were also trying to coax Jennie unnie to breathe properly but it doesn't work either. As soon as I reach Jennie unnie I kneeled down in front of her.

She has her eyes closed so she doesn't see me. "She started hyperventilating on stage but she got a handle on it so I thought it had passed but as we headed to our area it started again." Jisoo unnie informs me.

I noticed it on stage too and thought the same so I wasn't worried when we got off the stage. I should've checked on her.

"Unnie look at me." I tell her. She slowly lift her head at the sound of my voice.

"Li- Lisa-ya, I- I- can't b-breathe." She says between breaths.

"It's okay, just follow my breathing. Inhale." I say as I breathe in. "Exhale." And I breathe out.

It doesn't work. I look for Alice or the medstaff but they haven't arrived yet.

I think of ways to help so I do the only thing I could think of. I bring her face closer to mine so our foreheads touch. I grab her clenched hands and place them on my chest.

"Close your eyes unnie, it's just us here. No one else. Just follow what I'm doing, feel my body as I breathe in and out."

After a few tries, her breathing finally slows down. "That's it. In then out." I feel her body release the tension it had one by one. Her hands first, she slowly unclenches her fists so now it lays flat on my chest. Her facial expression starts to soften with each breath she takes.

Relieved, I close my eyes and take in a shaky breath. I know she can feel my rapid heartbeat. I was so worried the second I saw her hunched over. We were still in the same position by the time I heard footsteps running towards us.

I feel someone put a hand on my shoulder. I break away from unnie to stand and make way for the doctors but I couldn't go far. She doesn't let go of my hand even when the medstaff finally arrived.

I just stood there watching them check her vitals and stuff. "What took you guys so long?" I ask feeling myself getting angry remembering unnie's pale face.

"I'm so sorry, Lisa-ssi. Jennie-ssi." They bow apologetically.

I feel my blood boiling. That's all they have to say?! "Things could have gotten worse!" I feel her squeeze my hands telling me to calm down. I take a deep breath before looking back at her.

She doesn't say a word but her eyes did. 'I'm okay now, thanks to you. That's all that matters.'

It took a lot of effort to look away from those mesmerizing eyes. When I finally did I called Alison. "I have to go now since I need to be at the airport in an hour. Update me when something changes. Okay?" She nods.

I turn to Jisoo unnie and Rosie. "I have a flight to catch. Text me when you land safely back home."

"Okay. We'll take care of her." Rosie says.

Lastly, I kneel in front of her again. "I'm sorry for taking off and leaving you right now but.."

She doesn't let me finish. "It's okay. You've done more than enough. You helped me breathe again and that's what I needed the most."

"Okay. Take care of yourself unnie." I say as I stand up.

-Jennie-

I don't take my eyes off of her as she stands. She pauses, contemplating something in her head.

She bends over me and my heart stops beating as I imagine her kissing me goodbye. Everything around me seems to be in slow motion so I closed my eyes on instinct waiting for her lips to touch mine.

I feel her lips but not where I wanted them to. She kissed my forehead. Well... That was crazy of me to assume.

I feel myself go red with embarrassment. Thankfully, she already turned away from me and didn't see me blush.

I held onto her hand until the very last second.

After all the hurt I've caused her she still didn't hesitate to help. She truly is a selfless person. Always thinking about others before herself.

As I watch her walk away, I make a promise to myself that this will be the last time I willingly let her walk away from me because the next time she tries..

I won't let her go without a fight