JENLISA | ANGUISH |

Chapter 12 - Abu Dhabi

Today is our free day here in Abu Dhabi and I'm heading downstairs for breakfast. Upon entering the restaurant I see Jisoo unnie and Rosie so I head straight to their table.

"Good morning!" I say as I take a seat beside Rosie.

"Wow. You're chirpy today. Did you get a good night's sleep? Jisoo unnie asks.

"I did. When we arrived yesterday I took a shower, got into my pajamas and then went straight to bed." They both laugh at me. "So, what are you guys doing today?"

"I think I'll go to some market to shop and definitely eat some delicious food." Rosie answers. Of course, Rosie can't skip out on food.

"What about you unnie?" I ask

"I think I'm gonna take it easy today since I didn't sleep well last night like you did. And maybe explore in the afternoon."

"What about you?" Ask Rosie, facing me.

"I'm going to explore some places near here and take some photos and then I booked a table..." I got interrupted by Jennie unnie who just arrived.

"Good morning everyone. What are you guys talking about?" She asks as she takes her seat.

"Well Lisa is just telling us her plans today." She nods at me to continue.

"As I said, I booked a table at a well known restaurant later this evening."

"That's cool. I think me and Alison are going to two or three places today so it's just gonna be a short trip for me." Suddenly she looks at me with a smirk on her face. "Lisa-ya, can we join you for dinner?" She asks in her baby voice. Like the one she did on Weekly Idol.

She didn't have to do that but who am I to stop her because, of course I'm gonna say yes. Nobody says no to Jennie Kim. Well, I think thats just me. I'm too whipped for her.

"Fine." Acting like I'm being forced to take her.

"Yes! I just got myself a free dinner. Woohoo!" She high fives Jisoo unnie and Rosie. We all laughed.

***

"Wow. That was some good quality food." Alison says while patting her belly. We all laughed.

"Thanks for the treat Lisa-ya." Jennie unnie says.

"You're welcome. My wallet might not agree but that was worth it." They laughed. Looking at the view I suddenly have the urge to go for a walk. "I'm gonna take a walk on the beach. Does anyone want to come?"

"I don't think I can walk right now so I'll just stay here." Alice says.

"I'll come with you." Jennie unnie pushes her chair to stand.

"I'll just stay here too. Just don't go too far okay?"

I nod standing up. Unnie and I walk side by side. When we reached the shore to walk along it she links her arms with mine. This would be a nice end to a date if things were different. No, I promised myself that I'm finally gonna move on albeit it's gonna be a slow process but what can I do? We work together. It's not like I can just disappear on everyone, I have commitments as a BLACKPINK member and to my individual work.

As I start the process of moving on I thought that telling her about my feelings would be my starting point. Keeping things bottled up would not help my heart to start healing.

When we were in a good distance from the restaurant I decided that this is a good time to tell her. I stopped and turned us to the water. "Let's sit down for a minute unnie." Thankful that I don't have to see her reaction as we are sitting side by side.

"Unnie, I have to tell you something but you can't interrupt me so I can finish it in one go. Okay?" I turn my head to face her.

Puzzled at my request she tries to read my face but eventually nods her head to answer.

I turn back to the water and take a deep breath. "What I'm gonna tell you might make you uncomfortable but I promise you, it will not change how we are as a family. But there might be times I'll be awkward around you so you'll just have to understand me for those in the future." I stop for a minute thinking thoroughly about what I'm gonna say next.

"I have feelings for you unnie." I felt her stiffen beside me. I sadly smile to myself. "But don't worry, I'm not confessing to you to see if you feel the same way, I know you don't see me like that and I totally understand. I'm doing this for me. " I pause.

"I decided to finally move on and to stop pining over a person who doesn't feel the same way." I finish. Waiting for a while if she has something to say. When she didn't, I stand up. "Let's go back unnie, it's getting colder by the minute."

She stands and when I'm about to turn around she grabs my wrist. "Lisa-ya, I'm sorry.."

"Hey." I say softly. I grab both her hands in mine. "Look at me unnie." She slowly lifts her head. "It's not your fault."

"It's not your fault either." She says squeezing my hands.

"I don't know about that but thank you for saying it anyway." I laugh.

"We can't control who we fall in love with, Lisa-ya." She says. She looks at me with a look I can't read.

"Okay. I know some things will change between us and I'm fine with that. As long as you won't hate me for it."

She pulls me in her arms. "That will never happen. How can I hate this cute little face?" She breaks the hug so she can put her hands on my face and squish it together. We both laugh.

As we looked at each other we knew we'd be okay. We walked back to the restaurant hand in hand.

***

As I close the door of my hotel room I feel my body break down. The tears I've been holding find its way out. My shoulder shakes as I sob. I let it all go and tomorrow start afresh.

-Letting go is one way of saying I love you

It got better as days, months flew by. Being together with unnie doesn't hurt that much anymore...

That's what I thought until I saw the Article.