My F*cked Up Fairytale

HUMAN DELICACIES - CHAPTER NINE

I settle into my usual spot on my bed which allows me to watch the door. I'm currently awaiting my vampiric maid, more commonly known as Master Dorian, to deliver my dinner. I'm more excited about Dorian's visit than the bland food though. While I eat, we always get into some sort of interesting conversation about an Earth word he doesn't understand or about his recent problems with the elves in Dryadale. 

Fortunately for my heart, these conversations have yet to end with a fleeting kiss again. I'm unable to stop myself from turning red as I regrettably recall the momentary kiss between Dorian and me. It was far too quick for it to be considered a proper kiss, but lips had touched, so it was a kiss by definition. Ah, stop thinking about it! I choose to distract myself with Cat as I chase him around my room, eventually scooping him up into my arms. I shower the very unwilling subject with many kisses.

"I love you to pieces. Oh, yes I do! I love y..." My voice trails off when I take account of Dorian who's standing in front of my closing door with a tray in his hand.

"You seem to have become very fond of that cat," He comments, following close behind me as I return to my former seat on my bed.

"There are many things I have become fond of," I say, staring directly at him before I disdainfully look down at the tray of food that Dorian just placed into my lap, "These bland meals are not one of them." He sits down next to me, patiently awaiting me to eat my dinner, but I continue talking, "I can't eat another meal of pork or else I'm going to turn into a pig myself! Don't you guys have any street vendors around here?"

A hum of thought emits from his mouth before he responds, "Witches sell broiled rats and veil on the side of the roads in Magania. Most of their food is cursed though, so I doubt that you would want to try it."

"What about pizza? Do you guys have that?" I know I'm being ridiculous, considering the world I'm currently in, but I'm a desperate woman that's succumbing to her period cravings.

"Peet-sah?" I bite back the laughter bubbling in my throat after he butchered the word like a toddler. "I'll have Callon ask the chefs."

I cross my fingers while I watch Dorian converse with Callon who appears within a second of Dorian bellowing his name. 

Ten grueling minutes of waiting pass by until Callon finally comes back to my room. Dorian and I turn our heads in his direction, causing him to swallow hard. He casts his gaze to the floor, nervously fumbling with his hands.

He relays the inevitably bad news to us, "The chefs cannot make you any pizza, Miss. They asked me to send their apologies for their lack of knowledge."

"It's fine," I brush off his apology, and immediately the tension in his body unravels. "Because I can make it myself! Who needs chefs when you have me?"

With that declaration, I jump off my bed, turning to Dorian for a hint of approval, instead, all I get is a mocking smile. 

"I sincerely doubt your ability to cook," Dorian snickers as if he had made the best joke in his whole entire life.

"And I sincerely doubt your doubt in me!" I shoot back, then stomp toward my door, only to have Callon stand in my way.