Heart&Seoul || jjk/kth/bts

Chapter 2: Long-distance

He nods apprehensively as he lays his fork down next to the plate. I know they'll support any choice I make, but I also know that it's not going to be easy to accept at first. Even if they don't say it, I'm aware of the plan they had for me, which I'm not going to follow, I can't follow anymore... at least not in these conditions.

"This is why..." Three heads simultaneously turn to me. The second bomb is bound to be dropped. It's now or never. "I applied for an exchange year abroad." Hopefully this will lighten up the mood... or more likely distract them with a shocking revelation.

"Where?!" One dad is alarmed, the other is already giving me the silent treatment.

"Well... I don't know, either. Only Jade and Aaliyah know. I picked the destination blindly and then sent out the form. I won't know until I receive the e-mail saying I was selected."

"Bridget." A reproachful glance is sent my way. Dad's eyes depict his disappointment in a cartoon-like style: his thick eyebrows are so expressive it's hard not to smile. I haven't felt this way since they found out about my first tattoo. Which was... 6 tattoos, one hair colour change and three piercings ago. It's still the same rush I used to get: I can't predict how they'll take it or what punishment I might get for my immature behaviour, but what's done is done and there's hardly anything they can do about it.

"I know, I'm sorry!" I was drunk, I'm about to say, but thankfully keep my mouth shut before I dig my own grave. "I believe this is the only way I can start over for a while and get back on track, like, get in touch with my life again, you know?"

"How long were you planning to keep this from us?"

Dad is visibly hurt, but I don't feel threatened or attacked by his tone. Resentment starts to rise within me nonetheless. I simply lower my head, incapable of giving them an answer. Uncle Pete is holding his breath while I'm having a metaphorical battle within myself and a more than concrete battle with my parents.

"I just thought... This is what I want, and I was so excited about it that I did it impulsively..."

"We're not mad at you-" Dad starts but is interrupted by his husband who sends him a warning glare. "I'm not mad at you," he corrects himself. "I just wish you'd told us beforehand."

"Well, I am mad, indeed," his husband adds. "However happy I may be for you. I'm glad you found comfort in this decision, but we are your parents, Bridget. You're twenty, you're independent, you're a grown woman. This doesn't give you the right to treat us like this, though. You're still living under our roof. Or are you going to pay for this trip alone? With what money exactly?"

I should've definitely thought it through. They were the first people I should've turned to before diving head-first into this. I have no money of my own. I'm a spoiled child of two lawyers who can afford to send me abroad. The cost of this trip isn't the main issue here, but it's still a detail I should've taken into account.

"I'm sorry" is all I manage to say.

"If you don't care to think about us, at least think of your friends," he continues twisting the knife. "Have you told them you're going away?" Why does he have to put it like that? This has nothing to do with my friends.

"I'm not even sure I have a chance!" I raise my voice at this point.

"Still!" He snaps, startling his brother and his own husband, but not me. "How will you cope without them?"

"I can do long-distance" I mutter.

"Yeah but can they do long-distance?"

Is it selfish of me to believe they'll be just fine? I'm sure they'll miss me like I'll miss them, but it's only gonna be one year. Leigh and I are used to being separated since she's been living in London with her husband and their daughter for a couple of years. We're sisters, our bond won't suffer for one year in two different countries; Thomas is probably going to need someone else to replace me, but that would be all, because "missing" me is too much of a strong word for him; Jade is only gonna be excited for me and will always text me to spill the tea; Aaliyah will most likely cry their eyes out for the first week before they come to terms with it, but they're strong and supportive of me, which is why I cherish them so much. Of course goodbyes hurt, it'd be odd if they didn't. There comes a time when we can't avoid them, though. I'm not leaving to make everyone sad. I'm leaving because I don't wanna be sad anymore. Besides, we're the Internet generation, for God's sake, there are plenty of opportunities to keep in touch even when 5000 miles away.