A Different Slice

22 - Gelato (Kieran)

"No, he's... he's not perfect but neither am I." Rusty nipped at her earrings, so she stood.

"There's no shame in being single until you find someone who treats you well."

His waiting had paid off tenfold if Naomi would ever consider him romantically, and even if not, she was a much more supportive friend than Brinny.

Brinny laughed. "You internalized that too well. Plus, the only guy who unconditionally treats me well is only interested in sleeping around while he waits for gorgeous dog trainers."

That seemed pointed and bitter, as did her stare.

"That wasn't the reason I waited."

She crossed her arms. "It's hypocritical. All those years you told me my weight didn't matter when it does."

"It doesn't."

"Then, why is the only woman you're interested in dating and defending super thin?"

Rusty glared up at him. "She's also very nice and supportive."

Even if Naomi gained weight, it wouldn't change his opinion. He'd find her physically attractive either way, and their emotional connection drove many of his feelings.

"My last girlfriend struggled with her body image in the beginning too. She hated public transportation with its narrow-thin-bodied designs, and loathed shopping at plus-sized stores where clothes made her feel unattractive or like she was draped in curtains. Even though she loved and grew up on the beach, she seldom wanted to swim because of what people had said about her growing up."

"I don't remember you having a girlfriend."

"It was before I moved."

"But you must have broken up."

He swallowed a lump in his throat. "It ended, but I had no choice in that."

"And you would pick her over Naomi?"

"That's not an option." It was a struggle to keep his voice steady.

"If it were."

He pictured Katy's loving gaze. The way she'd whisper, 'You make me feel like the most desired woman in the world' after they made love. That look of pure excitement when they'd picked out their home in Halifax together. Why had fate ripped that from them so violently?

"Kier?" Brinny's voice softened as she stared at him with wide eyes.

The wetness on his cheeks registered, and he tried to wipe it away, but it only seemed to coat his skin more. "I would pick Kay. But I'll never have that choice."

He would give anything for it, but life had other plans. Some days, he wanted to punch through a wall at the unfairness of it all. Rusty rubbed up against his leg, spreading warmth, so he scratched the little guy on the head.

"I'm so sorry." Brinny wrapped her arms around his shoulder and pressed her head into his chest. "I always thought I was the problem between us being together. I never considered what you were going through."

So Jake was right, not that it was a surprise.

Kieran took a breath to steady his composure. "I told you that you weren't."

"It seemed like you were letting me down easy."

He sighed, supposing he owed her an explanation, especially after over a year of shutting down her eager flirting in hopes of dating. "The idea of being that close to anyone but her hurt. Hooking up dulled the pain but didn't feel like a betrayal."

Brinny looked at her red toenails. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have understood. It would have been a lot better than what you did."

He shrugged. "I couldn't."