★𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝑭𝒍𝒚 ༄ 𝑲𝒂𝒛 𝑩𝒓𝒆𝒌𝒌𝒆𝒓★

8: Jitterbug

"If you feel the urge to freak, do the jitterbug
Come and spread your arms if you really need a hug"
-A Tribe Called Quest-

I woke up to Jesper rudely prodding my cheek.

I batted his hand away as he sang "Ada, wake up!" in my ear.

"Really, Jesper?" I sat up. Oh, I realised. I had slept on the floor. Why had I slept on the floor again...?

Jesper took my hand and helped me to my feet.

I swayed, holding my head as a wave of dizziness passed over me.

"C'mon, let's get you some breakfast," Jesper said, leading me down into the tavern.

I tugged at the knots in my hair with my fingertips, managing to fix them relatively easily.

Slumping down at the bar, I was glad to see there was a different server.

I slipped my medicine into my cup as I took a swig of it.

Hanz's face. Sylvia's face when she saw the body. The Mortality.

It all came flooding back to me like a bad dream.

I felt vomit rise in my throat. Shit. I rushed away with my hand covering my mouth just as Kaz approached the bar.

I collapsed in the bathroom, expelling into the toilet.

The regret hurt.

If I was gone, and Nate was in my place, none of the mistakes would have been made.

But here I was.

I sat with my head against the wall for a while, breathing slowly as I quenched the thoughts thundering through my head.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I hauled myself up. "I'll be out in a moment," I called faintly.

I flushed the toilet, and turned on the tap for good measure.

I checked my face in the mirror. Apart from the dark circles under my eyes, I looked sane.

I swung open the door. I froze.

"Sorry, Kaz, I'll get out your way..." I began to manoeuvre around him, but he lifted his cane to prevent me.

"Where were you?" he asked.

"I~"

"You usin' the cludgie?" questioned a gruff man.

"Oh, our apologies," I replied.

We walked further along the corridor, out of the way.

"So?" Kaz prompted.

I pursed my lips. "I, uh, I have family here. I went to see them,"

"You're lying," replied Kaz with a sigh. "This isn't going to work if you lie."

I couldn't tell him about the Mortality.

"Okay, I was at a club." It was near enough the truth.

Worry flashed across his face. "You look pale." he tilted his head. "Jesper said you ran off looking pretty sick,"

Hanz's face. Sylvia's face. What I'd inadvertently created.

I felt queasy. I put a hand on my chest. This wasn't normal.

"I, uh, I'm fine," I wheezed, eyes wide as I tried not to cripple.

"Another lie?" Kaz took a step forward, unsure. He didn't know what to do. He knew what he wanted to do, but couldn't.

"...yeah..." I admitted, leaning against the wall.

I looked up at Kaz. "Have you ever killed someone?"

Slowly, he nodded.

"Do you remember how it felt?"

He cast his gaze away. "Terrifying."

I tried to stand up straight, failing. "Does it still feel that way?"

A sad smile played on his lips. "Yes."

I had killed many without remorse. I thought I was numb to it. But I guess not.

A rogue tear ran down my cheek. "Kaz? I feel that way now. I... never thought I would... but," I wiped the tear on my shirt sleeve.

Kaz turned to face me. He glanced at my gloves, my hair that cloaked my shoulders and neck, and he extended his arms to me.

"What...?" I began.

Kaz pulled me in to a hug. A shock ran through me. Our skin did not touch. I wrapped my arms timidly around his back.

It was warm, and comforting. It was an alien feeling. I buried my head in his shoulder and let out an unsteady breath of relief.

And, in true nature, it ended as soon as it began.

"Who did you kill?" Kaz asked plainly.

I laughed sadly. "A crummy bastard."

And Kaz... Kaz laughed too.