Losing You [A Benson and Bensler Fanfiction]

Twenty-Five

Casey was the first one through the door, and she froze when she saw Olivia laying on her bed. Olivia's hands were cradling the small body of her newborn baby girl. 

"L-liv?" Casey whispered, as tears burned her eyes. Olivia looked up from her daughter before spotting her friend. She had been completely absorbed in the tiny human she had just given birth to, that she hadn't heard the door being kicked in or her friend enter the room.

"E-elliot and I have a daughter," Olivia choked out, her eyes quickly dropping back to her baby. The little girl had wispy brown hair and long eyelashes. She was the most beautiful human that Olivia had ever laid eyes on, and couldn't believe that she was lucky enough to be this little girl's mama.

"Oh, Olivia," Casey whimpered. She hurried to the bed and smoothed Olivia's sweaty brown hair before looking down at the baby. 

"I-i'm sorry for not listening. I needed to have her alone," Olivia spoke as she drew her daughter to her chest.

"It's okay, Liv. Uh, we are going to call an ambulance and take you to the hospital."

"No hospitals-" Olivia started, before stopping when Bernie interrupted her.

"Honey, it's important that you and the baby get checked out. If not for yourself, do it for your little girl."

///

Olivia was definitely in shock. She couldn't believe what her body just managed to do without any assistance at all. Then she also couldn't wrap her brain around the idea of being a mother to a baby that would never meet her father.

"Thanks for riding along," Olivia spoke, as she laid on the gurney and snuggled her baby girl. Casey sat on the bench as the responding EMT hooked Olivia up to an IV of fluids.

"You already gave birth alone. You didn't need to be alone during the hospital ride too," Casey replied. Olivia nodded slowly, her cheeks growing rosy with embarrassment. 

"I don't regret locking myself in my bedroom and delivering my baby by myself... But I realize that I should have let someone help. If she got stuck, the cord was wrapped around her neck, or I started to bleed too heavy... No one would have been able to help me," Olivia frowned. Casey reached out and caressed Olivia's cheek and smiled softly.

"Amanda would have been a badass and kicked that door in, just like she was forced to do tonight. Thanks for stealing my key," Casey chuckled. Olivia gave her a sheepish smile before looking down as her daughter yawned.

"I think I know what I want to name her," Olivia admitted. For months, she had ideas but completely forgot those names the moment she laid eyes on her baby's red little face.

"Do I get to know? Or are you waiting to do a big reveal?" 

"Don't be dramatic, Casey. You can know," Olivia grinned.

"Okay, then spill it."

///

They admitted Olivia to the maternity wing of the hospital. They deemed her and her little girl completely fine, even if the delivery didn't go as planned. Olivia insisted on keeping her daughter for a few hours before releasing her to the nursery for testing. 

Casey, Alex, Amanda, and Bernie all came into Olivia's room just as her doctor was leaving.

"Hi, sweetie," Bernie smiled as she slowly approached Olivia's bedside.

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked, as she and Amanda walked to the other side of the bed. 

"I'm very sore and tired. But Stella James and I are doing great," Olivia beamed, tiredly. She saw the faces of those around her brighten with smiles, even if she had put them through hell just hours prior.

"Stella James? Liv, that is such a cute name," Amanda whispered.

"I thought so... Uh, who wants to hold her?" Olivia asked. Bernie called dibs as the others chuckled softly around her. Bernie sat in a chair and held her newest grandbaby as Casey and Alex sat on either side of Olivia and Amanda lounged on the couch in the corner.

"I need to apologize to all of you for what I did tonight. I was selfish and-"

"You scared the shit out of us, Liv. Especially when you started moaning. It sounded like you were dying," Amanda frowned, as she sat up and leaned forward on the couch.

"It felt like it... Honestly, I'm so sorry. Clearly I wasn't thinking clearly, and I promise to never do anything like this again."

Her friends exchanged glances since they realized what Olivia said before she did.

"This was the only time I'll ever be having a baby. There will never be another baby with Elliot," Olivia whimpered as everything hit her. Tears started to stream down her cheeks as a sob left her throat. 

"Liv, I know this seems so final... But Elliot was there with you the entire time. Today is the start of a brand new life. I have something that might make you smile," Bernie spoke, her own eyes misty.

"Yeah, I think Livvie would love to hear something happy," Casey spoke, as she tried to keep up with the tears that were streaming steadily down Olivia's cheeks.

"W-what is it?" Olivia hiccupped.

"Little Stella James shares a birthday with her daddy. Elliot would have been forty-one today," Bernie spoke. Olivia felt a small smile creep on her lips before nodding slowly.

"Happy Birthday Elliot and Stella," Alex said, singing slightly. Small laughs filled the room as Olivia rested heavily into Alex's side.

Even if Olivia would never be completely ready to spend the rest of her life without Elliot by her side, knowing that Stella and Elliot shared a birthday made things a little easier. Like Elliot planned this all along. Like he wanted his last child to share something with him since he wouldn't be there for her entire life.