𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑵𝒆𝒓𝒅 𝑰𝒔 𝑨 𝑪𝒂𝒎𝒃𝒐𝒚

-2-

"Okay so there's this guy."

"Oh my gosh." My dad cuts in. My mom rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Tommy, don't get all miserable."

"She mentioned a boy Christaine," he mutters.

My dad is the overprotective kind. He always kept me shy of the world and would sometimes scare me into wanting to stay inside. He failed miserabely. And mom thought him scaring me about the outside world was a bit abusive.

Maybe, but he's a nice man. Just very overprotective. It's adorable.

"When we met, you were twenty and I was sixteen, so don't even try that."

He recoiled at that statement. Every time he does something that mom doesn't like she reminds him of the age difference between the two of them.

"That was the old days," he defends. "And I had good intentions, but now, men who were my young age, are foaming at the mouth for young girls. I'm only protecting her."

"He's just a boy, Tommy, not some thirty year old. And she's in highschool, let her have fun."

He ate a potatoe and scoffed. "Let her have fun?"

"I won't have sex dad, he's just cute is all. A-and he's a nerd."

"See, she's making the right choices already."

He exhales. "Not until I see him. Then maybe I'll let you text to him. No meeting up, no dates, no kissing or sex, none of that stuff."

Mom shook her head, but I grinned. "Yes sir. And he probably doesn't even like me. Look at me...and my teeth they're-

"Oh now look what you've done Tommy. You have her degrading herself."

Dad set his spoon down and I felt gloomy all of a sudden. My tongue raked across my teeth and I put my head down.

I know they tell me I'm perfect the way I am and I shouldn't be insecure about anything but, sometimes I wish my teeth were straighter and whiter.

And why'd I have to end up with the funny skin? They're not even albino's. And the only reason why I changed schools in the first place is because I got bullied about it so much.

"Sweetheart, look at me."

I obliged. Gazing into his brown eyes. If only I was normal like them.

"You're too beautiful for this world. And you're strong, but you can never be too careful, okay?"

I nod. "I know dad."

"Well, continue about this...boy." When she said that I smiled.

"He's got circle glasses and the color is like a rose gold. He's tall, like very tall, his name is Calum, his eyes are a light brown almost like honey and his hair is brown too." I explain in excitement.

"Did you two talk?"

"Yeah, in the front of the school. There were these kids that were beating on him and I stepped in. He said that the only reason Channing, the one with the muscles, bully him so much is because Channing has a secret that he doesn't want anyone to know."

"Interesting, is that all?"

"Yeah, he had to go study and I had to get my schedule and stuff so we parted and that was it."

He's cute. I hope Calum doesn't find me too weird.

"That's nice sweety, it's good to know you're making friends already." Mom tells me.

"And remember, if anything happens tell us. I'll take care of it."

"Of course dad. I'm done with dinner, can I go now?"

"Sure sweetheart, you have school in the morning anyways." I got up and went to my room. Before I got to bed I washed my face and brushed my teeth.

I stared at myself in the mirror and sighed. I cut my bathroom light off and got under the covers.

I laid there for a bit and glanced at my door. The hallway light is still on. I'll wait.

About ten minutes of me waiting went by and finally the light clicked off. I threw the sheets off of me and pulled my pants down. I threw it to the floor and I pulled my panty down to my ankles.

I wasn't always like this. Sure I would get butterflies in my stomach every time I saw James Viidichi -my first ever crush- everywhere I went, but when he, also being my bully, said, "Cordelia, get over me, the only thing that would be willing to fuck you is yourself."

I of course was confused by what he meant and asked him. The guy I had eyes for laughed at me, they all did.

"Not only are you and ugly patch of snow, you're stupid. Masturbation, Cordelia, look it up."

And I did. I found a lot of things, even porn. I watched countless videos and I was so scared that I would become an addict that I summed it down to once a week.

But the world of pleasure is unmeasureable. I rubbed gently, trying to bring myself to an orgasm. I have problems when it comes to orgasms though, sometimes my arms get too tired and it ruins the mood.

It also makes me frustrated. But tonight, tonight was different than all the others. Instead of just relying on pleasure and feel alone, I had a picture.

Not a physical one either, a visual one. Brown eyes, cute smile, and even if he smelled of blood there was still a nice lingering smell on him.

Calum.

Calum. I'm thinking of Calum.

I bucked my hips and my toes curled. I'm close. I closed my eyes tighter and my body shifted as my actions got quicker.

"Come on."

Think of him.

His glasses, the mole on the bottom of his lip and the salmon pink.

Oh yeah, that's it. My hand flew over my mouth and my thighs clenched. That feeling is always something I look forward too. It's like reaching a long awaited goal. And the prize to that goal is always remarkable.

I exhaled, finally getting my breathing together. I sat up and pulled up my panty. I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to wash my hands.

As I let the hot water pour over my hands I took a glimpse of myself in the mirror. A smile reached my face and I was sure the snowy pigment turned red.

I can't believe I just did that.

~