afflicted

35: Callie, present day

"Azriel," she said, although it came out more as a demand.

"You were screaming his name for hours in your sleep," Rhysand nodded. "Do you remember him, then?" His eyes searched her face for the truth.

"Not from before," Callie explained. "Where is he?" She lifted her head and attempted to see if anyone was outside, but saw nothing more than forest, dense and green and melancholy. The snow had all melted, but Callie knew better than to assume that meant it was warm outside. They had to have found him by now, right?

"Callie," Rhysand began, burying his face in his hands before dragging them down his face. He looked miserable. "Azriel is gone. We were never able to find him."

Callie's eyes widened and the ache in her chest opened like a dam, wearing anger as a mask. She felt ready to claw Rhysand's eyes out. She clenched her fists and fought back the overwhelming need to be anywhere but here.

"Don't you fucking tell me that," she spit out. "I do not fucking accept that. Where. Is. He. Where is my mate?" She was practically yelling now, and Rhysand flinched under every word she hurled at him, but she couldn't help it. She refused to accept that he was gone. Wouldn't she feel it? If he was really dead, wouldn't their bond feel different in her chest?

"I promise you that I personally looked for him for weeks, risking everything and everyone on the hope that-"

"Where is Cassian? Where is Azriel?" Callie growled, kicking the blankets angrily off of her body and searching for her shoes. Where the fuck were her shoes? If no one here saw it fit to help, she would go on her own. He hadn't left her, and she would never leave him. He was out there somewhere. He had to be.

"Cassian?" Rhysand questioned, his brows furrowed in confusion. "So, you remember him, too?" He stood, placing his hands in his pocket at he thought, trying to force the pieces together in his mind.

It dawned on him all at once and he rushed over to her, gripping her arms so tightly that she gasped. Her eyes were huge as she looked up at him, catching a flash of the beast that lurked beneath the beautiful and haughty High Lord. She didn't like it. She wanted away, but he held her tightly.

"Callie," he hissed, "have you seen Azriel and Cassian?" He was breathing heavily through his nose, his chest rising and falling like he was barely managing to keep his cool.

"Of course, I have," she scoffed. "Az saved me more times than one. Can you fucking let go?" Something registered in his eyes as he realized how intense his reaction was, and let go of her arms, his hands falling limply at his sides.

"Out there?" Rhysand pointed to the window. "You have seen them out there since we have been gone?" He was looking at her like he didn't believe her, which only stoked the flames of her burning fury.

"What are you not understanding?" Callie shouted. "Where are my shoes? I'm going to find him." She dropped to her knees, looking under the bed, but finding nothing. She was still in her same clothes, but someone had taken off her shoes before putting her in bed. They had to be here somewhere. Maybe they'd even be generous enough to send her out with a coat. The snow outside had melted, but Callie still didn't trust that the temperature was much above the freezing point. It was never warm in the Steppes. She'd heard Az say so himself. 

"Callie-" Rhysand tried again, but she threw open the bedroom door and stomped down the hallway and into the living space, filled with way more people than she was expecting to see. Ignoring them in favor of finding Azriel sooner, she spotted her boots by the door and bolted, yanking them onto her feet and tying them as quickly as she could.

She threw open the front door, marching into the insane brightness, eyes barely open and tears leaking as she blinked. Her body felt like it was going into shock. It was hot. Why in the hell was it so cauldron-boiling hot? She couldn't imagine she'd been asleep for more than a day, and the temperate and climate had changed entirely.