afflicted

23: 9 months before...

A/N: I really don't think you guys are prepared for the emotional damage impending... but I'll let you have a few more moments in the sunshine first.

It became a near-weekly event that Azriel would show up at her bedroom window and hold her late into the night as they talked about anything and everything. He started bringing her little gifts at some point. He'd leave them on her nightstand for her to find when she awoke. He was never there when she woke up, but she always reached for him in hopes.

The gifts he brought always made her want to cry. They were always things that let her know how much attention he paid when she spoke. She could mention that she loved something once in passing and he wouldn't forget.

He'd brought her cookies from a bakery along the Sidra when she told him how much of a sweet tooth she had. The next week it was her favorite flower, which she didn't even remember mentioning. The gifts became sweeter and more personal as time went on. On the 5th week in a row of his visits, he brought her an orb of pure starlight. This had been after he'd noted how much time she spent staring up at the stars. Another time it was her favorite flower preserved in a small glass gem. Once he'd returned with a tiny stitched version of the creatures they'd swam with the night they met. She had no idea where he would've gotten something like that. When she'd wanted to know him more, he'd brought her the old and worn plush he told her he'd kept as a kid for when nights in the dungeons came back to haunt him. It had been a gift from Rhysand's mother when the boys were still very young. He told her she'd gifted one to all of them to keep the boys from teasing Azriel about it. When he placed the small plush rabbit in her hands, she could have wept.

When she'd tried to refuse and insist that it was something he should keep for himself, he'd told her that he had no need for it anymore. Not when he could hold her at night. Her muscled and fearsome warrior had a soft side of him he saved only for Callie. No one else would ever know this part of him. It made her feel so special and so held.

On one of their sleepover nights, the topic of sex had come up.

"I... I've had some bad experiences," she'd told him. "I think it may take me a while to trust you in that way. I need you to understand it has nothing to do with how I feel for you and nothing to do with anything you have or haven't done. In the past, I've used sex as a way to emotionally connect and keep from losing people, and I want more than that with you. I want all of you before I have you." Her gut had churned in fear of what his reaction might be, but as usual, she never had a reason to worry with him.

"I am in no hurry," he'd whispered to her in the darkness. "I want to memorize every freckle, curve, and shiver of your body. I want to know every corner of your mind. I want you to feel comfortable showing me all the darkest parts. I want to be your night sky. I want to be something you can look at and feel at home in."

She'd buried her face in his neck to fight the tears threatening to spill down her ruddy cheeks. She loved him so much that her chest ached. "I want to be your safe haven," he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Then and only then will I mesmerize you with my smokin' hot body." She felt his chest shake with laughter in anticipation of her glare. When she did exactly that, he kissed the end of her nose.

"You can kiss me, though," she said shyly.

"Is that so?" He raised both eyebrows playfully.

"You should kiss me," she nodded. "As much and as often as you want."

"Be careful what you wish for," he said with a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. "I don't see myself ever not wanting to."

"I don't think I'll ever get enough of you," she sighed, laying her head on his chest as they entwined their hands.

"Speaking of," he said awkwardly, playing with her fingers as he talked. "I've been doing a lot of thinking."

She snorted.

"You know how to do that?" She laughed, screeching when he smacked her ass playfully.

"Okay, smartass," he began again. "I was thinking maybe you might want to come stay with me for a while. Forever if you want to." She could feel his nerves radiating from him and her heart turned to mush in her chest.

"You think Alis would go for that?" She chewed her lip.

"She loves me," he grinned. "Plus I may have already asked her?" He flinched in anticipation of her reaction. She sat up, looking down at him with knotted bed-hair.

"No you didn't," she gasped.

He grimaced with a humorless laugh. "Whoops?"

"You bastard," Callie growled. "You told her I said yes didn't you."

His mouth snapped shut and his lips formed a thin line, guilt all over his beautiful features. Callie did what he hadn't expected, and broke into a huge, goofy grin. She attacked, pouncing on him and pressing kisses to his cheeks, forehead, eyebrows, chin, and nose. She pulled back to look at him.

They shared a few breaths, eyes lost in each other and with both of their hearts pounding, she took the leap and pressed her lips to his. He sighed into her touch, hands finding the sides of her face as he kissed her so slowly that her stomach heated. He teased his tongue along her bottom lip and she opened for him, caressing his tongue with her own and attempting to show him how she felt by the kiss alone.

"I'm assuming that's a yes," he grinned against her lips.

"Yes, yes, yes," she beamed, leaning their foreheads together and feeling like she could explode from the liquid sunshine raging in her chest.

"Fuck yes," he cried out, pumping his fist in the air. "Gods, I'm the coolest."

She rolled her eyes, kissing him again.

By the end of the week, she'd worked it out with Alis and Persephene that she was going to the Night Court. Alis had cried, but was overly enthused at the idea of keeping Azriel around. Whatever charm he'd pulled on her had clearly worked. It only served to boost his ego, which was the last thing he'd needed.

Before she'd left her childhood home, she spent one more night having one more sleepover with Vera, who had decided to move to the Autumn Court with a new boy she'd been dating, too. They mourned the end of childhood with all of the things they loved as kids. There were lots of tears, but so much love.

Vera had helped her gather all of her gifts from Azriel into a small box, sniffling as she placed the lid on top of it. She put it on the top shelf of her closet for safe keeping. She liked the idea of always having a piece of him here, where her heart would always call home. She'd hugged Persephene and Alis goodbye for an embarrassing amount of time before Alis finally shooed her out the door with Azriel.

"I have something for you," he said gently as she used her sleeve to wipe her tears. "Hold out your hands." She obeyed, closing her eyes. He placed something small and cold in the center of her palm. It felt metallic from what she could tell.

She opened her eyes to see a dainty gold ring with a transparent gem at it's center. Panic flooded her as she looked down at it, unsure what it meant. Her eyes widened and she swallowed hard.

"Here," he chuckled. "Hold it up to the light and look through the gem." Furrowing her brow, she obeyed. She nearly fell to her knees as the gem reflected back her childhood home, Alis on the front porch with one of her mischievous grins, Persephone with a book at her side. And Vera beaming from the open door. He'd given her a piece of home to take with her.

Tears fell before she could stop them. It was the most meaningful and thoughtful thing anyone had ever done for her. He knew her in her bones, actively practiced loving her better each day, and was so steady. She never had to wonder if he'd be somewhere on time, because he was already there, and early, probably with some kind of treat for her. She didn't have to worry he was judging her because of the adoration in his eyes every time he saw her. She never had to wonder how he felt about her, because he told her repetitively and often.

She launched into his arms, koala bear wrapping herself around him as she cried into his shoulder. He didn't speak, just rubbed her back as she got all of it out. He was so patient and so even tempered. She couldn't comprehend what she'd done to deserve his love. She supposed that with how long he'd been alone, he'd learned how to love someone the way he really wanted to.