Home Ice.

Chapter Thirty.

Finn

When we got to the car after our appointment, we kinda just sat there.

I sure as shit can't even see what's in front of me, so forget about being able to drive a car. I feel like I'm living in a daydream. I feel like everything around me is white and clouded and the only thing that's illuminated enough for me to see is my Aves. Who, by the way, is sitting exactly how I am in the passenger seat - completely still and looking out ahead of her.

Seeing our babies, hearing their heartbeats - fuck. I've never experienced anything like that feeling before. I'm stunned that the human body can go through so many different variations of emotions. How sad we can feel, how excited, how sentimental, how in love. I'm constantly surprised at the different emotions I get to feel through these new life experiences.

Twins. I truly cannot fucking believe we're having twins. I didn't even think about it being a possibility. I don't think there are any twins in my family, but now I'm going to have to ask my mom.

We're going to have two little shits running around the house and I could kneel over and cry over it, but in a good way obviously. The universe has been so awful to us but for this, it's on our side. The babies are healthy and so is my girl, that's all I care about. They're all I care about.

I look over to Aves when I see her move out of the corner of my eye, but she's just looking at the prints of the sonogram again. It's clear as day that there are two of them on the photo her doctor got and it makes my head spin.

Her hand falls to her stomach before she drops the photos and shakes her head in disbelief.

She looks over at me when she realizes I've been watching her and her lips roll into her mouth before a laugh tries to bubble past them, but she keeps them clamped shut. Her hand goes to shield her mouth and her eyes shine before another laugh tries to break its way through.

"Holy shit, Finn," she laughs, still shaking her head in disbelief. "What the fuck? How are we going to handle two?"

I laugh with her because I have no fucking idea. Being in charge of one human would be scary enough, but two? That's terrifying yet I've never been more excited about the feeling. I suddenly feel 18 again and like I'm not ready to be a dad. I feel like a kid myself.

Thoughts of us chasing around two toddlers around the house, each holding one as we walk through stores, making their birthday the biggest holiday of the year, having two car seats in the back of the car, and more are flooding through my head. My car is pretty big and can fit Kennedy's car seat easily so I'm sure two will fit just fine - but I think we'll have to get a mini van for when they have friends and when we drive with Kenny in the car too.

"I don't know," I shake my head to answer her question, but I'm grinning too. "But we're going to do it and they're going to be here before we know it. We're going to be parents, Aves."

It's crazy to think about the stark difference I'm feeling to exactly three weeks ago to the day, when I found out that Avery was missing. I saw no hope, not future for myself. No light in my life at all. Nothing.

I didn't know that I was going to be a dad, I didn't even know if I would ever see my wife again. But now here I am with her, in my car that's suffocating us in love and hope for a future I saw flash before my eyes.

"Who do we tell first?" she grins, and I don't blame her for the question because I feel like I'm dying to proclaim it to the world. I want everyone to know that I'm the luckiest bastard to ever live. But although I'm feeling that now, I know we want to wait to let the public know - especially given everything that's gone on. Not just because of the possibility that any pregnancy can go south at this part of it, but because it's for us and our family. We're going to cherish it as long as we can.