Home Ice.

Chapter Six.

Finn

From the day I saw Avery sitting in that English class, I knew the feeling she gave me was one that I wouldn't get from anyone else. I had never been so drawn to someone before, I never had the urge to be a part of someone's life like I did with her.

She was inquisitive, she was attentive, and she sure was breathtakingly beautiful. I think a part of me was nervous to talk to her because I didn't want the perfect image of her in my head to be ruined. People always disappoint you, there's always something there that doesn't fit and it's usually what ends up being the dealbreaker.

Almost eight years later and that image is still perfect.

In fact, it only got better. Perfect doesn't even describe it. I didn't know that I was capable of this type of love. I had no idea that the feeling I have whenever I even think about her existed inside of me. Every time I think I've reached the maximum of it, she breaks down another dam and more floods in.

I know people always say that they fall in love with their partners more and more every day, and I don't even care that I'm going to be one of those people right now. There are moments where I look at her, whether she does something incredible or if she does nothing at all, and feel like I've gotten the wind knocked out at me. It makes my whole body freeze and I can't stop looking at her.

It fucks with every sense in my body. It's like I'm getting heat flashes, like everything goes silent, like I wouldn't be able to feel anything but her. It sounds awful on paper but it's the most incredible feeling in the world. Whenever it happens, I stop what I'm doing and just look at her. I watch her as I let it completely overtake me - as I let myself relish in it. Those are the moments I fall in love all over again, but fall harder and deeper every time.

I think I used to be afraid that there would be a bottom to it - that I would reach some kind of max level of love that wouldn't be able to be topped. I think I was afraid that once I hit that, I wouldn't get those moments anymore and the love would start to fade. But I know that will never happen now. Even if those moments stopped, which I know they never will, the amount of pent up love I have for this woman will last me a dozen lifetimes.

I told her to shut her eyes when we were leaving the venue, she just looked so tired. Her shoulders were slumped and her feet were dragging. When we got into the car, I told her I'd wake her up when we got to the hotel.

But we're not going to the hotel. We're going to the rink.

I told her to try and get some sleep because I knew she'd catch on immediately, since the hotel is close to the venue - which was the entire reason why we were staying there. I also told her to try and get some sleep because I don't think I can talk to her right now.

I'm about to propose to my girlfriend. I'm about to ask someone to fucking marry me. I'm going to get married.

It's a surreal feeling. I'm 26 now but whenever I look at Avery, I feel like I'm still 18. How do I feel like I've known and loved this woman my whole life yet still feel like it's a brand new sensation?

I still feel young and dumb, I still feel like that 18 year old kid who was too in love for his own good.

I think back to when I was an actual kid, how I would sometimes think about what the girl I was gonna marry was doing. Don't get me wrong, I was still a boy and the thought of marriage didn't often surface in my head - but I definitely thought about it once or twice.