Toxic (Cartman x male reader)

Chapter 1 - Funny prank

Your POV

I woke up at due to my annoying ass alarm I timed on my phone, 6am. Today's another day of senior high school aka last year. Welp, it's just the same as Junior last year. An unattractive homeless looking man who gets nooo bitches. *sigh*

I stopped the alarm sound and decided to play some music while I get ready.

(You pick the song lol and you also get to pick what you wear cuz it's annoying af when other fanfics chose what ur wearing unless you like it ig)

As I get dressed and put on my (color) backpack, I went to my parents which their at the kitchen to say bye to them. Although, they were arguing. Just like usually. Somehow when I was younger, I find it traumatizing. But now today, pfft. It's fucking annoying.

I have a younger sister named Elenor and an elder brother named Oliver. Oliver is emo af and is in his mid 20's and he's in a bad. He also moved out. He lives in California while the rest of us are here in Colorado. Elenor is bratty and gets on my nerves it's so hard to get along with her like god damn.

"Bye mom." I said. They were still continuing their conversation, it's pissing me off a bit. "Bye mom!!" I repeated. "Bye." She responded quickly before going back to arguing with dad.

I sighed and went outside to the bus stop, where my 4 friends are at. Their names are Eric (crime bestie💅), Kyle, Stan, and Kenny. Lemme describe them.

Eric, which people call him Cartman is the evil one. Idk why, but he's kind of a bit nicer to me than anybody else and idk why. Oh don't think he's really really naive, he tells me to shut up sometimes. We're partners in crime btw and he keeps the dark secret that I'm a killer. To be honest, I trust him the most out of everybody in my life and I shouldn't. I don't fucking know.

We're also childhood friends. When we were in middle school, he would invite me to his house and we would play violent video games after school.

Kyle is probably the smartest one. He and Stan doesn't have a very good friendship with Eric. Eric also had a habit of calling Kyle a Jew. Because he is one so why should I even react?

P.S he confessed to me that he has a crush on Stan not long ago...

Stan is the one I could feel. He's depressed and I would let him vent to me about his problems. That's sometimes because he mostly vents to Kyle. Stan's also nice too, but he gets very frustrated sometimes Y'know.

And Kenny.. well. He's a pervert and also dies every week and revives the next day. Idk how. There's this one time at a school dance last year that he saw a girl with a very short skirt and looked under...

I know this is stupid and heartless, but I don't feel any emotion when I see him die. Not only him, when I hear something tragic or dark I don't feel any emotion. Hate me all you want but at least I'm not making fun of those.

People in this school seem to hate Eric.. I don't know why I'm so chill with Eric. I mean, we have a long ass history because we've became friends since 2nd grade so we basically grew up together. I'm weird.

I stood with the 4. Eric hummed some random tune I don't know. "Shut up fatass." Kyle spat. "I'm not fat, I'm big boned stupid Jew!!" Eric fired back.

And like usually, Eric and Kyle argue and Stan tries to defend Kyle. Stan obviously likes Kyle. Change my mind. 

The bus stopped I'm front of us and we went in. I sat next to Eric like usually. Eric leans back and relaxed while I get my earphones and listened to whatever

*SpongeBob narrator voice*
Later...

In 2nd period, I had a fake gun on my backpack that when you pull the trigger, water comes out. Kind of like a water gun except the gun looks like a pistol.