If Only, If Only

Break-In

"Hey, how'd she know my name, man?" Caveman asked Zig Zag after we were walking back from a long day of intense digging.

"She's got the whole place wired," Zig Zag said, tossing his shovel at the 'Library', "Yeah, she's got these little, tiny microphones and cameras all over the place. She's got 'em in the rec room, she's got 'em in the tent...she's got 'em in the showers."

"They're not in the showers!" Caveman quickly defended.

"Man, don't listen to him. I read his file. It says he suffers from, um, acute paranoia." Squid interjected.

"Hey," Magnet added, ignoring what my brother had just said, "So that means she watches me every day, huh?"

Armpit came up and put his arms around Magnet, "Man, he says she got cameras and microphones, not microscopes."

We all laughed as Magnet pushed Armpit away, shaking his head. I saw Zero reassuring Caveman there were no cameras or microphones, but Caveman's eyes still darted about, searching.

By night time, I had my whole break-in planned: I would break in to the Warden's Cabin and then...yeah. I don't really know what I'm looking for, but whatever- I'm sure I'll find something.

Armpit had lended me a large black shirt, and Zero had let me borrow his black sweatpants - meaning I was ready for breaking and entering like no other.

As I crouched behind the Warden's shiny car, fear started to set in. Maybe I shouldn't do this.  What would happen if I did get caught?

Nah, I'll be fine. I didn't get into juvenile camp by being an angel.

"What are you doing?!"

I whipped around and saw X-Ray staring at me disapprovingly.

"Shut up! You'll get me caught!" I grumbled. Why did he have to be everywhere I was? He was going to ruin my intricate, flawless plan.

"Oh come on! I never thought you would stoop this low." He said.

"Excuse me? 'Stoop this low'?" I argued, "What am I doing wrong here?!"

"Breaking into the Wardens cabin and snooping through her stuff."

"And? I just want answers. What did you expect from a criminal? At least I'm not a traitor!" I whisper-yelled back.

"Yeah, and I'm sorry I skipped digging for one day, but you don't know how long I've been here. If you go into the Warden's cabin, you will get caught and she is not the forgiving type." X-Ray said, annoying me. Sure, I was thinking mg the exact same thing but how dare he say it out loud.

"Ok well... you're not my dad and you don't get to tell me what to do."

"I'm not letting you get caught. You would have to stay here even longer and I promise you don't want that."

"Too bad! What are you going to do?" I sneered. Every second we spent talking increased me chance of getting caught.

"I will pick you up and take you back to our tent." X-Ray stated, making me laugh.

"No, you won't. You can't." I rolled me eyes.

In response, X-Ray leaned down and scooped me off my feet, holding me wedding-style.

"Stop it! Put me down, we are going to get caught!" I whisper-screeched as I clawed at his arms, "I have the perfect plan and you are ruining it!"

"Yeah? And what is that plan?"

"It's too complex for anyone other than me to understand thank you very much." I snapped, "put me down or I swear I will beat the shit out of you."

"You're what? 5'6? 5'5? I think I'll be fine." X-Ray grumbled as he easily carried me toward the tent.

We stepped inside and everyone's eyes turned to me in X-Ray's arms. The second he sent me down I pushed him away.

"Which one of you knuckleheads told him about my plan?" I asked angrily.

"None of us," Squid said with a shrug, "He just figured it out."

I turned and glared at X-Ray, who looked terribly smug.

"Ok, well I figured out nothing. I hope you're happy," I grumbled, "I'm going to bed."

"Wait, Drama Queen." X-Ray sighed.

"What did you call me?" I asked as I glared at him.

"I called you Drama Queen, but that's beside the point - what I'm trying to say is that maybe you don't need to break in to figure out what the Warden wants. She's in need of money, I heard her and Mom talking about it the other night. That's why she lives here."

"Ok..."I muttered, intrigued.

"What else do we know about her?" X-Ray asked the other boys.

"She has cameras everywhere!" Zig Zag cheerfully added.

"She's obsessed with Kissin' Kate," Armpit said confidently.

"Good, that's good," X-Ray encouraged.

"Kissin' Kate Barlow..." I repeated, thinking of the surplus of posters covering the walls of the Warden's cabin. "X-Ray what were the initials on the lipstick tube you took from Caveman again?"

X-Ray grimaced but told me "K.B."

"Kissin' Kate Barlow was an outlaw from Texas who wore lipstick all the time. Do you think the tube belonged to her?" I said excitedly. I felt like a super cool detective solving a perplexing mystery.

Everyone around the room nodded in agreement as I continued taking, "And if the Warden got so interested in finding K.B.'s lipstick tube and made us dig more because of it... do you think she's looking for K.B.'s body or something?"

"But no one knows where or how she died, how would the Warden?" Squid intervened, "Besides, why would the Warden want her body?"

"What if it's her fortune, buried like treasure? No one knows what happened to that either." Zero said while looking at Caveman.

"That makes sense..." X-Ray nodded.

"Yay! We solved the mystery. Can we go to bed now?" Zig Zag asked.

As everyone got tucked into their cots, I turned to X-Ray.

"Thank you for helping me get clues even though you destroyed my marvelous plan to break in."

X-Ray smiled down at me, "No problem."

"I'm also sorry I was acting so rude."

"It's ok, goodnight."

I lay in bed and considered whether or not what was said was true. We didn't really have evidence that was what the Warden wanted or that the tube belonged to Kissin' Kate, all we had was assumptions.

But it was better than nothing - it was a start.