If Only, If Only

Something Finally Happens

I didn't know if X-Ray was actually going to turn in the lipstick tube.

I mean, it's not like I cared though, it wasn't my problem. He wasn't my problem.

At lunch the next day, after my canteen had been filled, X-Ray lifted the lipstick tube up in the air and called out to Mom: "Hey, Mom! I think I found something. Come here for a second, I think I found something!"

Poor Caveman looked miserable.

"Looks like a...gold- golden bullet or something, doesn't it? It's nice right?" X-Ray said. Either he didn't believe me when I said it was a lipstick tube or he was lying to Mom for some reason.

Or he just didn't remember I said it was a lipstick tube, that seemed very possible too.

"So I get the day off now, right?" X-Ray asked.

"You just might. We're going to call the Warden," Mom said, excitement hidden in his voice. Mom spoke into his walkie-talkie: "Hey, Lou...you better get down here. I think we got something..."

"We got something nice! Got something nice," X-Ray cheered.

"We got something nice..." Mom echoed.

A few minutes later, we were all watching apprehensively as the Warden and Mr. Sir pulled up in a fancy sports car.

X-Ray's eyes were nervous as he watched her approach Mom.

"Right over there," Mom pointed to where X-Ray had 'found' the artifact. I'm pretty sure we were actually quite far away from where it was actually found, but again it was not my problem.

The Warden removed her sunglasses and menacingly walked over to X-Ray's hole.

"This where you found it?" She questioned.

"Yes, Ma'am," X-Ray responded.

"Dr. Pendanski, drive X-Ray back to camp. Give him double shower tokens and a snack." The Warden said, making Caveman's face droop. Also Dr. Pendanski? No way that idiot was a doctor. "But first," the Warden continued,"Fill everyone's canteens."

"I already filled them," Mom said chirpily.

The Warden snapped her head toward Mom, "Excuse me?"

"I had already filled them when you drove up in the car," Mom explained.

"Excuse me?" The Warden repeated, "Did I ask you when you last filled them?"

Mom had a dumb smile on his face as he continued, "No you didn't but-"

"Excuse me? Now these fine boys...and girl..." The Warden added as she glared in my direction, "have been working hard. Don't you think it just might be possible that they have taken a drink since you filled their canteens?"

Mom nodded and muttered "It's possible."

"Oh it's possible, is it?" The Warden said as Mr. Sir giggled.

"Caveman!" The Warden barked, making Caveman jump. "You come over here, please. Come on..."

"Get on over!" Mr. Sir agreed as Caveman jumped out of his hole and jogged over.

"Now did you by any chance take a drink since he filled your canteen?" The Warden questioned.

"Oh no, I-I'm fine. I have plenty." Caveman said. I love him but he really did have the logic of a caveman.

The Warden paused and seemed to stare into his soul. "Excuse me?"

I absolutely love the distraction from us digging, but I really wish she would stop saying 'Excuuuse meeee' over and over and over.

"Scrappy!" The Warden called to me this time, snapping me out of my thoughts. "You're a girl, you're probably the only smart one here. What do you think the correct answer is?"

I have no idea what being a girl had to do with being smart, all I had was common sense. I took a deep breath, looked the Warden in the eye and said: "Caveman knows the answer."

"W-I might have, uh, drinken some," Caveman corrected himself, looking over at me with gratitude.

"Thank you," The Warden said as she smiled a fake smile. "May I have your canteen please?"

"Oh, gosh." Mom muttered as he shuffled on his feet.

The Warden walked toward him and shook Caveman's canteen, sloshing around the water inside. "Can you hear the empty spaces?" She snarled.

"Yes, I can hear," Mom replied. I was loving  this drama, this tension. I hope they started a physical fight, that would be fun.

"Fill it," The Warden demanded as she shoved the canteen into Mom's chest. Mr. Sir was chuckling and bouncing up and down in the background. "If that's too much trouble you can grab a shovel and Caveman here can fill the canteens."

"All right, Armpit! Squid! Get them wheelbarrows out of the truck!" Mr. Sir yelled.

"Zero! You take over X-Ray's hole. Caveman will assist you. Magnet and Scrappy, grab some pitchforks from the truck! We're going to dig this dirt twice." The Warden said.

"Ya'll be good now, ya hear?" X-Ray called out as he drove away, to which I flipped him off. Sadly, instead of taking offense to this, he just laughed. I could have stolen him triple shower coins and five different snacks if he had just asked. All he really got was to miss a day of digging, was it really that much to him?

The Warden and Mr. Sir yelled back and forth and soon tents C and F had also joined us in digging. The Warden clung to the 'bullet' like it was worth a fortune.

"Come on, boys! Let's see it! Use those muscles!" The Warden called out as we dug our holes wider and deeper. "Today's a special day. I got a good feeling about today!"

Mr. Sir yelled too as we rushed about, lugging around dirt and sifting through it.

"You're doing fine! No need to hurry! We don't want to miss anything!" The Warden continued to shout.

We were looking for something, and tonight I was going to find out what.