Pretend this is a really awesome title (MuiTan)

Chapter 28

Muichiro's POV 

I felt bad, coming back into my room and seeing the stuffed animal sitting sadly on the floor. I went over to pick it up. "I'm sorry." I whispered, bringing it back to my bed. Guilty was one way to call my emotions these past few days. Looking at the scratches that ever so slowly healed, rereading the note Tanjiro slipped under my door for the 587th time.

The only thinking I could do was about Tanjiro. I couldn't not feel bad for myself, and it was miserable. Ever so often, Tanjiro would show up at my door, just to ask how I was doing. He didn't seem to have any other intention. Today was another one of those days. 

"How are you?" Tanjiro asked through the closed door. I didn't ignore him today. 

"I'm alright." I mumbled, and I listened to a sigh, followed by shuffling away. What would he want me to say? I remembered the letter, and thought for a moment. ...Does he want me to go to him? The idea made me shiver. I stumbled back into my room, replaying the events from Saturday. I felt so... icky. This was unfair. 

The image, of Tanjiro and Alum kissing... it deeply disturbed me. It made me sick. Sometimes, I'd throw up because the feelings would become too overwhelming. The hunger would get worse and worse as the days went on. I had nothing to eat, and I was so hungry yet not hungry at all. Terrible, I'll call it. I unblocked Tanjiro at some point, hoping, praying that he'd text me but also not wanting him to. 

It was about time I went to school. I didn't want to look at Alum again, or face Tanjiro. I didn't want to talk or look at either of them. However, sometimes I'd remember what Kanao told me. 'It's immature.' 

The last things I wanted to do was walk into that hell, see those people, sit through a class. Teachers say they want us to talk to them if we don't feel that school is a safe space. I always snort whenever they tell us that. How could anyone have the courage, when the person causing your troubles would just come back for revenge?

Walking over there, on Monday, it felt different. Maybe it was the knowledge that my life was back to whatever it was before Tanjiro. Maybe it was just Chase and Raquelle's existence, their ability to do whatever the fuck they want. Why can't I stand up for myself?

The thought would always pester me, all the time. I'm even more vulnerable now, without protein and living on water. My reflection was pale as snow, along with ribs poking out obviously, creating ridges in my skin. I hadn't left the house, really. This morning I took a shower, though my last was days ago. 

I brushed my matted hair, and it took me too long. I was already late, and I was only halfway through my journey to the depths of depression as a place. I let my hair down today, not caring enough to put it in a ponytail. I was about to cross the street to the school, when I recognized a certain group of girls walking out of the Starbucks down the road.

Raquelle's hazel eyes met mine, and she was still for a moment. I rapidly tapped the 'cross' button, to just let me cross the damn street, as I saw the approaching fate. They were headed this way. The button, which seems to hate me, because it always ignores my requests whenever I'm in distress, failed once more in letting me cross. 

"Where were you?" She asked once she reached me. I looked at her in silence. The girls exchanged glances. "We were worried about you!" She teases, nudging me harshly. 

I couldn't keep staring at her anymore, it gave me anxiety. One of her friends strutted over, and stood behind me. A bad feeling came upon me, and it was followed by a shock as Ice cold water poured on my head. I tried to ignore it, but it was almost numbing. It hurt, so bad. The chilliness of March certainly didn't help. The crossing sign turned on, and I dashed across the road, leaving those stupid girls in my trail.