Dil Sambhal Jaa Zara (MoRan FF) ✔️

Realisation

■KARAN■

All the other cadets left along with Faizi. A female trainer was allocated to stay overnight with Anisha.

Monami is still unconscious as I sit down beside her bed.

"I hope you wake up soon." I caress her forehead gently.

I had panicked when I heard the news of her getting injured. In a single moment so many thoughts, so many regrets had crossed my mind. I initially thought she had fallen off the cliff and I had lost her forever. So many unsaid thoughts, feelings I didn't know existed came to light.

I was so scared to loose her. It made me regret all the time I spent hating her, the time I made her spend hating herself. She could have loved herself more, found moments of happiness with herself more.

I could have realised that what I feel for her is not what I claim, it is not just plain friendship but an attraction towards her as more than friends. She didn't need to almost die to make me realise that I like her..

I know what Faizi meant by the way I look at her or there are things that I am hiding from myself. I have developed feelings for her but I was not ready to acknowledge. Falling in love with the same name and face that destroyed you isn't something easy or something people will understand because what nobody will know is the same person healed me. She was the person who bandaged my wonder heart. She was my therapist, it was her duty... but she went extra for it. She took steps she didn't need to and that healed me... I will always be thankful to her and opening up to her even was a part of the falling in love journey. I trusted her initially that she will never breach the contact and then slowly and steadily she gained my complete trust.

I wish to convey my feelings to her before I loose her... I can't afford to loose her.

I hold her her hand as she lies unconscious.

"I was so so scared to loose you. When I heard that you have fallen and I assumed from the cliff my heartbeat stopped for a moment. It was petrifying. Thousands of wishes just to spend another moment with you, a pray that you get a few moments from my life ran through my mind. When I saw the lifeless you I wanted to hug you and make you listen to my heartbeat which till then I realised belonged to you... I wanted to hear your voice , assure you that I will be always by your side. I wanted to tell you that I like you more than a friend, I am attracted to you and trust you."

But does she like me? A sudden thought hits my brain. Will she ever like someone who hated her for no fault of hers, made her believe she was at mistake without any ?

No. I don't think so.

Why would someone fall in love with someone like that?

What if she doesn't even look at me as a friend, but only as patient and trainer.

I slowly slide my hand out from hers because this didn't feel right at that moment. 

A nurse comes in to check on her that moment. 

"Please inform us when she wakes up by ringing the bell." the nurse informs me.

"Sure" I nod.

I grab the couch when she has left and go through my mails.

I don't know when I fall asleep but I wake up when I hear Monami mumbling something... I immediately ring the bell and call the nurses.

A nurse visits followed by others and a doctor. The doctor checks her vitals.

"She is fine now.." the doctor informs and I heave a sigh of relief.

"Thank you doctor."

"She still needs to be under observation though..."

"Yes doctor."

The doctor leaves the room..

"How are you Monami ..??" I ask her ..

"I am fine I guess..."

"You need rest.. do you want to sleep some more..??"

"I just woke up Karan .. definitely no.."

"What do you want to do..??"

"I feel a little dizzy though but I don't want to sleep again.."

"Look doctor said you can't take stress right now... so you can't really talk.. going back to sleep is the best option."

"Ok." With this she shuts her eyes trying to fall back into the sleep.

I smile at her...

***
Sanjana comes in a few hours to stay with Monami..

"You will stay with her for the day ..??" I ask her..

"Yes Sir... even night duty is mine.."

"I can stay at the night.." I assure her.

"Sir, the academy doesn't want you to stay.. they want a female to stay with her.."

"I get it..."

"After 2 pm you have to carry out discharge of Anisha.. because you are the one who got her admitted."

"I will do that.." I give her a smile.

I wished to stay with Monami and take care of her as much as possible... but I know it won't be possible due to rules... Monami stayed with me due to emergency but it was Faizi the entire time... and if anything like that happens the ministry can and will interfere which will not be good for the academy's image.

It was my fault that the academy's image was spoiled in the first place I don't want to be a reason for it again.

I look at Monami's sleeping figure and retreat out.

***

Hope you like it.