Falling in love

22 | TOSKA

"Once I didn't feel like going home or being with anyone for that matter. I was driving aimlessly and somehow I ended up here" He says gazing at the sky

"So you come here often?" I ask

"Yeah every time I feel like I want to be alone and away from the shit in life" It's like his safe place

"Do others know about this place?" I ask

"Actually you're the only one that I'm sharing this place with" I was not ready for this.

"Why did you bring me here then?" I ask looking at him ignoring the butterflies fluttering in my stomach.

Feeling my gaze he looks at me "I've been coming here alone for the past 3 years, and I thought it wouldn't be bad to have company. The right kind of course. I felt you would connect to this place more than anyone else"

A strange kind of happiness surges through my body when he says this. His eyes speak volumes more than his words.

"I'm honored that you shared this with me. This place is-is magical" I softly say

Not being able to hold his gaze anymore, I break our eye contact by looking at the sky. I can still feel his gaze on me but I don't look at him.

We sit there in silence while stargazing and there is not an ounce of awkwardness or weirdness. I feel comfortable and just happy. Away from everything and everyone, lost in our own thoughts.

"You know the other day when you said that I have a mask on. That I have a façade on?" I say looking at the sky

"Aadhya I didn't-" I look at him when he starts off but I shush him by saying "No seriously it's fine. You were just stating the truth anyway and truths are always bitter. As I was saying, I- usually girl's are daddy's princess but I'm dad's unwanted child.

He was happy with my two older brothers but three years after Ahaan bhai, I just happened. He was even more disappointed that I was a girl. When I was small, I was confused as to why dad despised me. So, I tried being the best everything - academics, extra-curricular. So that one day he would pat on my back just like he appreciates my brothers"

Telling Reyhaan was so surprisingly easy and I felt like a weight being taken off from my heart.

He then asks "And your mom?"

"Mostly she accompanied Dad for his business trips and when they were not, she would try to make the most of it. But she never stood up for me, you know. As we grew older, my brothers fought for me. I guess afraid of losing his sons, made him show less of his detest. 

My brothers mean the world to me, they keep me sane and happy. They're the main reason why I stopped trying so hard. And therapy too" I end with a grateful smile lingering on my lips.

"I'm so so sorry for everything I said the other night, I didn't mean any of that shit. I was so angry that I didn't realize what came out of my mouth but that is no justification. I am deeply sorry, really" He says regretfully and looking at eyes I just know that each word came from his heart.

I nod "It was a little extensive but anger messes your brain. So don't worry its fine, I forgave you long back. You know with time, I learnt to be good enough for myself and not for others and honestly I was doing fine. Then Rohan enters in grade 11. The new, popular boy in school who also happened to be dad's associate's son. So obviously we had to maintain the 'perfect family' look.

Slowly, I started liking him and it turns out he likes me too. He was sweet and nice, everything was good. One day, after exams we went for a party, he got drunk but was in his senses. He started touching me uncomfortably and then dragged me into a empty room. I warned him to stay in his limits a multiple times but he forcefully kissed me.