AFTER DARK | Johan Liebert

Chapter 29: Welcome home

"You work at an orphanage?", my mother asked surprised. Johan nodded. "Yes, I've been doing it for a long time."

"He's very good with children", I added. "Even Tom, the boy no one in school can tame, listens to him."

"So the two of you are similar in terms of jobs." Leo gave us a glance while eating. "You're both working with children. Is that how you connected?"

"Not directly", Johan answered. "But we spent time together while watching over the children in the afternoon. We only talked the second time we met, because the first one was quite chaotic." I nodded in agreement, he continued. "But I guess we have the same work ethics, and we look out for each other. Klara is a person who is rare to find nowadays. She's loyal to her beliefs, loving to the children and cares for her friends, even when she's in a bad place." I had to look away, pretending I was busy eating, because his words made my heart skip a beat. "I'm happy to hear that." My mother smiled. "Indeed, she has always been a responsible person." She looked at me. "How is your teacher training, Klara?"

"It's fine. It's exhausting, of course..." I made a short pause. "But I don't want to complain. I still don't regret choosing becoming a teacher. It's great spending time with children, teaching them and inspiring them. If I can prepare them for everything that comes after elementary school and they are going to gladly remember the time, it is the best outcome."

"I'm glad to hear that. I think working in elementary school is a fitting job for you. I'm sure your sympathy and care reach your pupils."

'Who are you, and what have you done with my mother?', I heard my inner voice ask ironically, but I didn't want to hear it.

"If that's true", said Leo, "I'm quite upset, Klara. I wish you would have treated me as well as your pupils when we were younger."

"I treated you well", I answered astonished. Leo pouted.

"Remember that scar you gave me when we had a fight?" He pointed below his eye. I raised my eyebrows.

"That was because you were annoying me. Plus, it's small. You deserved it."

He just replied with a Hmpf!. "So cold", he murmured. "And you're an elementary school teacher."

Johan just observed our conversation expressionlessly. Then, he turned to my mother. "The food is delicious, Mrs. Krupin. I haven't eaten such good food since my childhood." She seemed to be genuinely moved by his words. "Thank you so much, Johan. You can call me Evgenia if you want to. Would you like more food?"

We laughed a lot that evening. It was the first time for so long that I felt comfortable at home, and now, Johan sat beside me as well, making me feel safe. The food was delicious - I couldn't believe my mother prepared this just for a short visit of Johan and me, but it showed me she wasn't hostile towards me. She seemed to be impressed by Johan, and it was hard to achieve that. Well, I should have figured that Johan would exceed all her expectations. Johan was calm and polite as always, talking about his own life and our time together, but left out all private things and was never tactless or dismissive, not in the slightest. He looked as if he felt comfortable and enjoyed his time there - even Leo liked him and didn't seem to have any objections against our friendship, though he was studying psychology and could analyse Johan's behaviour better than anyone else at the table.

Eventually, it was time to say goodbye. The sun was setting already and we went to the hallway. "Thank you for the effort, Evgenia." Johan offered his hand to my mother, which she gladly shook. "No need to thank me. Thank you for coming all this way. You're a great friend to my daughter." "Just tell us the wedding date in time", Leo added. I kicked him with my leg.

I put on my shoes, then looked at my mother. "Thank you so much. It was a wonderful evening." She stood there, smiling warmly. "I did it gladly. And..." She looked away for a moment, then our eyes met again. Hers were glistening.

"I'm glad you eventually came home again."

I didn't know how to react. It all felt like a dream. I just smiled back at her, no hug, not a single touch. And that's how we left. We went down the road to our rented car, I felt like I was gonna faint any second. It felt like there was a knife in my heart being pulled out, and I was bleeding uncontrollably. The second I fell into my car seat, I woke up from my trance, processing everything that just happened. Johan, sitting behind the wheel, looked at me carefully without saying a word.

And then, I just started crying. One tear after another, until I lost control. I put my hands on my forehead, covering my face, sobbing. It just was too much for me.

I felt Johan laying his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. I think this made me cry even more. I buried my face in his shoulder, crying my eyes out. He laid a hand on the back of my head, stroking me.

"... How long haven't you been at home?", he asked quietly.

I couldn't answer him, but I think he figured it out. Ever since I moved out, ever since I moved to northern Germany, I hadn't visited home. Seven whole years, I hadn't been there, with the intention to never return. I was glad I did it, eventually, and I was relieved to know that Johan was there for me. But the pain never left - I had just tried to drown it.