AFTER DARK | Johan Liebert

Chapter 8: Stay

A/N: Good evening! Yes, it's me again. Is this the third chapter in 24 hours? Yes. Do I have time to write another chapter? Absolutely not. But I'm still taking the time because I'm motivated. My schedule is full, so I don't know when I'll be able to post next, so I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Spring break was coming. I was so delighted that I'd have free time soon - not actual free time, but at least I wouldn't have to go to school. Of course I loved my job, but I needed a break after everything that had happened the past weeks.

Today was Thursday - it was warm and sunny. I couldn't believe my eyes when I opened the window in the morning. Finally, I could go outside without freezing. Actually, ever since last week, I felt as if I couldn't hear very well. Also, I had a stuffy nose, but that could also be my hayfever. Could it be that wearing a beret on cold days hadn't been such a good idea? Could be. But beauty knows no pain.

"Good morning." I walked into the teacher's room, placing my bag onto my chair. "You sound ill, Klara", said Mrs. Weber. "Hayfever", I answered shortly. Since we were the first ones to arrive, we emptied the dishwasher as we talked about the upcoming spring break.

Then, after many hours, the time arrived - I would hopefully see Johan again. Mr. Janczyk and I went to the playground with the children - the weather was beautiful, and I couldn't help but grin out of joy. "At last, spring has arrived."

As I watched over the children playing, I spotted him - Johan watching the orphans, wearing a light brown suit jacket. He hadn't noticed me yet. Quickly, I walked over to him.

"Johan. I'm glad to see you again."

He winced slightly when he heard my voice. Then, he faced me. "Klara."

"How have you been? Have you recovered?", I asked carefully. He nodded.

"Yes, I have. I apologise for everything that happened on Friday. It was not my intention to drag you into this."

"It's fine. But... what did you drag me into? What do you mean?"

He looked away. For a moment, he didn't say anything. But when he looked back at me, he was smiling - it was a rather painful smile, however.

"Please don't look at me this way. When you look at me so curiously... I might give in to you."

I raised an eyebrow. "I don't understand a word of what you're saying. But you don't have to tell me anything. We can forget about this incident, okay? I don't think bad of you. We can just start over, and this time, it'll be my treat, and we'll go somewhere nice."

He didn't answer. His silence made me nervous.

"... Klara."

"Yes?"

"Can we talk about this after work?"

"Sure."

"Good. Then let's meet here at 4 PM. Is that alright?"

I nodded. "It's fine. I'll see you then."

His behaviour was strange. He seemed to cold, brushing me off like that. Did I say something wrong? Had I been too intrusive last Friday when I demanded to drive him home in his own car? Or did it happen earlier, when we were in the café? Perhaps he felt disillusioned by me, since I didn't act as I did at work? So many thoughts crossed my mind.

After bringing the pupils back to school and taking my bike, I went to the playground, parked my bike nearby and went to the place where we were talking before. He was already there.

"What do you actually think of me?", he asked softly, looking at the landscape.

"My impression of you hasn't really changed on Friday. I don't know what happened to you at the rooftop, but I know it was out of your control. So... I'd like to start over, if that's fine with you."

"And act as if this incident never happened?"

"Yes. I think we can manage-"

"That's not possible."

I looked at him in confusion. He was staring at the ground. "Some things cannot be undone."

"It's true that it can't be undone, but it's not like anything happened", I answered. He was smiling slightly, furling his eyebrows. His expression made me feel as if I just told him a bad joke, full of contempt and spite.

"I think we shouldn't talk anymore."

"What?" My eyes widened. I could feel my heart beating loudly inside my chest. What was he saying?

"Whatever we had, it's over. I can't drag you deeper into this."

He looked me into my eyes, and for a single second, his polite smile came back.

"Farewell, Klara. I'll take my leave now."

He turned away and walked away from me. I stood there, shaking. His voice was echoing in my head, merging with another.

'I'm gonna leave! I'm gonna leave you forever! How could you do this to me?

'

"No..." I reached out my hand, but he didn't hear me. Why was he walking away again? What had I done this time? I started digging in the past. Had I hurt him? What did I do? It happened once again. Was I being delusional?

Slowly, I put one foot in front of the other. "Wait..." And another step. "Wait...!" I ran after him. He wasn't turning around, and I didn't have the impression he heard me. I reached out my hands and clung onto his arm. Surprised, he turned around.

"Please don't leave me." I raised my head, looking at him in desperation. It was so embarrassing. By the way he looked at me, I knew he saw the tears in my eyes. "I want to get to know you", I said quietly. "I'm not afraid. If... if I said anything to upset you..." Though I was so miserable, he lifted his hand and laid it on mine, whispering an inaudible You're shaking. "I didn't want to scare you away", I mumbled. "I'm sorry if I did something wrong. Please... stay with me."

Johan didn't say anything, but for the first time, I saw genuine emotions on his face, though they were subtle. "You didn't do anything wrong, Klara." My heartbeat fastened when he said that. He was still holding on to my hand. "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. I have my own problems to deal with, and I don't want to drag you into this tragedy..." By the way he spoke, I knew it was difficult for him to say that. "Thank you for driving me home last week. You don't need to invite me anymore. You've already made up for that." He made a short pause. "I can't get you involved, Klara. The only reason I want us to part ways is because of myself. So go on and live your life, and don't think about me anymore."

With these words, he left me on the meadow. The spring leaves were surrounding me in the air as I watched him. I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. Why? Was I so attached to him already? Or was I just being desperate? No. I knew he had a good side beyond his perfect mask, but he always talked as if he was beyond saving. No matter what you've done... there's always a way to start over. But he was gone, and I was standing on the playground, lonely once again.