Camera Flashes (1) - Taylor Swift

24

"I have to tell you something."

"Sure," Taylor said over the phone that night. Grace accepted a drink with a strong pour from Mathers and took it out to the backyard to overlook the pond. She liked that spot on the bench, it had been her favourite place on the grounds for years.

"Charlie told me that he loves me tonight," Grace admitted, she was trying to do the right thing by telling Taylor. She knew Taylor didn't want to hear about him, but that felt like the kind of thing you reveal to your lover.

"In the way you don't love him?" It took Taylor time to reply, if Grace couldn't hear Meredith meowing incessantly in the background she would have worried the call dropped. It was funny to her that she worded it the same way Charlie had.

"Correct," the heiress nodded to herself, and then felt embarrassed that she had done so and gripped her phone tighter.

"That... sucks," the singer replied slowly, "What does that mean here?"

"Nothing except that I feel guilty for not being able to love him," she answered, because that's all she could see changing. He was the first person she ever told that she had never looked at boys that way she looked at girls, and at fourteen they weren't even courting, but they knew it was a matter of time. They'd known as far back as they could remember.

It wasn't a rush for boys in the Kent family to be paired off, but Grace was a girl, they needed to find a family who had a son that was well fit to manage things.

Charles had asked what that meant, that Grace looked at girls that way and she told him that if he agreed to get married, it would be a marriage of convenience rather than ever love. He had looked at her like she made the stars shine, so he agreed and didn't fully consider the consequences.

At fifteen, she told him that she had kissed a girl during a week long trip with her school, and at sixteen they both lost their virginity to other people about a week after their were supposed to officially begin their relationship. When he had asked if it had gone well and Grace had shared a few details in the typical teenage gossip fashion, he then realized he needed to ask for advice to make the next time go smoother.

Their relationship had taken a turn after that night, when they outlined their boundaries and agreed to the things that had stood for years. He even apologized to her after Robert Kent had sat him down and told him it was time to think about proposing, and then he did it in the middle of a very public event and she said yes and acted surprised and overjoyed, just as she was supposed to.

Grace realized he probably didn't even want to agree to those things, but he did. It hurt her that she couldn't give him better, but at the same time, Taylor reminded her, "You don't have to feel sorry or guilty for who you are. I'm sure he knows that if you could love like that you would, it would make both your lives so much easier."

"I hope so," Grace sniffled, she hadn't felt herself crying softly until the snot was running out of her nose, "I have never wanted to hurt someone. He appears to be hurt, I don't know how I didn't notice it before."

"I can't tell you what to do, Gracie," Taylor knew her opinion would be biased and that what she had to say wouldn't be what Grace wanted to hear. She wasn't in a position to offer advice that she herself was unwilling to take into consideration.

"I know you don't want to hear about him, I felt better letting you know," she added after a gentle sigh, she knew exactly what Taylor meant by her statement and part of her wished her girlfriend would just say it, and say it, and say it again and again until she was so sick of hearing it she had to surrender.

"I do appreciate you telling me, and I know you don't reciprocate it that way so it's... fine. God, you have me saying that now," Taylor laughed enough that Grace chuckled too, "Fine! Everything's fine!"