VOL 2 Chapter 10 Change for Yourself

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Hachiman POV

I talked to Horikita, she explained to me the whole situation of the trial, it seems that at least she gave us time.

Today is Saturday, the day I am going to meet Airi, I have enough time to worry about the trial, for the time being I will deal with talking to Airi. I have to find out the root of what is going on between us.

I dress in a white long sleeve t-shirt, and black jeans, I'm a guy with simple tastes or so I'd like to say, rather than that I'm terrible at fashion issues.

Already dressed I leave my room and head to Keyaki mall, when I arrived I see that it's 2:50 pm, ten minutes before the agreed time, but when I see where to sit to wait, I recognize a familiar figure. It's Airi.

She is dressed in blue jeans, a navy blue blouse and a beige jacket. When she arrives she is crestfallen, I don't think she has noticed me yet.

I slowly approach her and sit next to her, she raises her head and finally notices me.

Airi: Ha-Hachiman-kun?

Hachiman: Hi, I didn't want to interrupt, you looked so thoughtful.

Airi: That's not true, I was just distracted.

Hachiman: I'm sorry, did you wait too long?

Airi: no, no, I just arrived, I should be sorry, you must have had trouble finding me, after all I'm very dull, so I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't mistake me in the crowd.

I look at her, expressionless, this girl I never thought she had such low self-esteem despite being a former idol, those lines are reserved exclusively for loners like me.

Hachiman: Airi, are you kidding me?

Airi: Huh? Of course I'm not.

Hachiman: You know that if you didn't decide to hide your looks you would be just as popular as Kikyo.

Airi: But ....

Hachiman: easy, easy, I know you don't like the looks of other people, I just want you to know that no matter what they say, Airi, you are very pretty.

With that said, Airi instantly turns red, I know what I said is very embarrassing, but I'm just stating facts. It's not something I should be ashamed of.

On second thought, though, what the hell is wrong with me? I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to say it out loud before. I can only blame it on the boldness I have in this life.

Hachiman: for you to look down on yourself like that, it makes me feel uncomfortable.

This surprises Airi, but seconds later the astonishment turns into irritation, he places his lethal weapon, the pout, which is directed towards me.

Airi: Look who's talking, now you see how it feels that your friend is self-deprecating.

Hachiman: ugh, in my case it's the norm, I'm not someone handsome or communicative, so I'm not confident in either of those fields.

Airi: see, there you go again, no matter how many times I tell you, to me you're great Hikigaya -kun.

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Airi, no, Airi-sama, if you ever decide to make a fan club let me be the founder of the club.

I'm glad at least someone said it out loud and without sarcasm mixed in. This is bad if she keeps saying things like that, I might end up falling in love with her.

Calm down! I know this is a new feeling, but I have to keep a cool head.

Hachiman: a-all right, thank you Airi, for thinking that way about me.

Airi: Although I can say that you need to improve in too many aspects, like being more delicate, less cynical, not speaking with so many ironies, that you don't make the environments uncomfortable all of a sudden, among other things.

Ugh, a low blow.

Hachiman: Airi-sama, by doing that you'll practically be wiping me off the face of the earth.

Airi: I see, too bad.

She says it in a cold voice, that only makes the dagger I feel in my heart sink deeper.

But I feel a little relieved, at least things are no longer as awkward as before, I feel like the gap has closed again.

Hachiman: Airi, can I ask you why I feel that you separated from me?

It's a delicate subject, because he immediately tenses up. In spite of his doubts he answers me.

Airi: I heard that you confessed to Ichinose-san.

There it goes again, I guess it's the consequences of a confession, but I can't change the past anymore so I just have to face the problems.

It seems to be the same case as Haruka, maybe she is afraid that I will abandon her along with the group. I just have to clear up the misunderstanding.

Hachiman: Airi, don't worry, no matter what happens I'm not going to leave you or the guys, the group we formed is something I wouldn't replace for the world.

She is a little startled and then lets out a crooked smile, Huh? Don't expect that reaction, I might be wrong, but I can't find any other reason for her discomfort.

Hachiman: I'm sorry for saying something weird, but I just wanted you to know that you're a special person to me, and that no one but you, would keep me away from you.

She turns red again, what the hell? I understand girls less and less, I feel like a woman's mind is a forbidden garden for men. I'd better shut up so as not to make the situation worse.

After a few moments of silence, she speaks.

Airi: Hachiman-kun can I ask you if you think it's an extreme change if I go to school without glasses and with my hair down?

Oh? Really a weird question, wouldn't a girl's opinion be better in this case?

Hachiman: Yes it would be weird, many of our classmates would be too surprised, you might be overwhelmed by the questions they would ask.

Airi: I thought so.

Hachiman: Why did you ask that question?

Airi: I thought I want to change too, I can't be the only one who stays in one spot forever,but.....

Hachiman: You're afraid of change.

She nods softly.

Hachiman: It's normal, Airi, no matter who, everyone is afraid of change, even me, although sooner or later we will face it. I just want you to know that no matter what changes you have for me you will always be the whiny, shy, sometimes hard to listen to, hard to understand, Airi.

Airi: Is it okay that I want to change?

Hachiman: Let me tell you something, try to change, not for your classmates, not for us, not for the people around you, just change for yourself.

It is something fundamental, if you try to change for the other people it will only lead you to the path of self-destruction, only you can decide if you want to change or stay where you are.

She looks at me with her blue eyes, shocked by what I just said, maybe this way she will be able to move forward, but in the end it will depend on her.

Airi: I understand, I will do my best.

Change to a more determined stance, I am no one to make people change, I just say what I think, there are many contradictions I have, there are many thorns in my side that I can't pull out, still I want to do my best to have my answer.

Subconsciously my hand goes to Airi's head and I start stroking her hair.

This action causes her to tense up, and her eyes dart to my face.

Oops, I seem to have overdone it.

Hachiman: I'm sorry, I made you feel uncomfortable.

Airi: Awawawa, it's not true, I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise.

Hachiman: Hahahahahahahahahaha, Airi you are funny when you get nervous.

Airi: *sigh* I don't know why I get nervous with you, knowing how you are.

She says it like it's not worth it, ouch, that means she won't bother having reactions with me.

Hachiman: I think it's time we go do what I told you.

Our talk took a good portion of our time but in the end the misunderstandings were resolved.

Airi: Yes, you are right.

With that we head towards the electronics store, as we head there, I feel Airi tense up.

No, shit......... Is this the place?

Hachiman: Airi, are you okay?

I can see traces of Fear in her eyes, the right thing to do would be to tell her to go back to the previous way, but I don't want to miss this opportunity.

Airi: Y-yes

With doubts we go ahead, when we enter I hear the voice of that guy welcoming us, he urged Airi towards the place where the digital cameras are, we observe the models.

Until Airi chooses one that is worth about 20,000 private points.

Airi: This will be fine.

Hachiman: Are you stupid, do you think I'll let you buy something so cheap?

Airi: But I don't have enough points.

Hachiman: Haaaaaa? What are you saying? I told you I was going to buy you a new camera, it's my fault yours broke down.

Airi: I can't allow that, at least let me pay half.

She's pretty stubborn when she proposes, so with a tap on the forehead I stop her.

Airi: ouch.

Hachiman: no is no, come on Airi, let me do something for you, it's one of the few chances I have to help you, I think I already told you.

Airi: *mumbling* that's not true.

I almost can't hear what he says, there's no point in digging into this, so I take a camera worth about 75000 points.

And I pass it to Airi.

Airi: Awawawa, I can't accept this, it's too expensive.

Hachiman: I wouldn't forgive myself if your photos are left in poor quality, plus I have a little extra change.

It's a reaction that could be expected, I used to be very thrifty, always looking at bargain sales, but at this point I can consider myself a millionaire in this school.

Truly the value of money corrupts people. So a camera for only 75000 is cheap with what I bought. My former self would definitely be strangling me.

Airi: It's too expensive no matter how much money you have, Hachiman-kun.

What a stubborn girl.

Hachiman: Consider it a gift from me, I told you, I don't want your pictures to look blurry or anything, plus I'd like you to take more pictures with us. So it's perfect, just accept it, if you don't, those 75000 points will be spent on instant noodles.

Suddenly the image of my room flooded with containers of noodles came to mind, just thinking about it makes my health deteriorate.

Airi:......that's fine.

I think she knows me very well, she knows that if she doesn't accept, I will definitely buy the noodles.

With this, we bring the camera to the counter, I can see Airi shrinking as if she is trying to disappear while the clerk is talking.

Employee: This camera is very good, its stability for photos is very good, and its resolution is first class.

It would be normal what he is saying, but his look disgusts me, not in the figurative sense of the word, it simply disgusts me.

It's hard to feel emotions through letters, but now that I'm in front of him I feel like throwing up.

Clerk: This camera has a one-year warranty, so I'd like you to fill out this form so that if there are any problems, the camera can be verified as yours.

He passes a pen to Airi, who starts shaking in front of the sheet, this is too much for her, so I decide to take the pen.

Employee: h-hey, the camera is hers.

Hachiman: Never mind, I'm buying them with my points, so it will stay in my name, if any problem arises I'll be sure to come.

With that he runs out of arguments and I write down my personal information.
And I pay for the camera.

With this we leave the store and I see Airi's body expression getting better.

Airi: Thank you, Hachiman-kun, I don't know what I would do if you hadn't come with me.

Hachiman: Don't worry, it's a normal thing between friends, you know if you need help with anything I'll be here, so don't be afraid to talk to me.

Airi: It's okay.

She answers softly, the atmosphere became calm, I don't want to force her to talk, so I better keep quiet.

The way to the dormitories became solemn.until she decides to break the silence.

Airi: Hachiman-kun, could you go on Monday together with everyone in the group to my room. I want to tell them something.

Hachiman: Okay.

Briefly I agree, I have a rough idea of what it will be, I'm a little glad that she decides for herself what she's going to do.

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