Missing Pieces

Rebeka

It's weird, I feel this strong connection to Sebastian, stronger than anyone else in town. I can't quite put my finger on it, but everything falls into place when he's around. Maybe we were just destined to be friends? Destiny is a funny thing after all, throwing the most unexpected things at you, I'm just glad I could find peace and friendship in a guy after Tom.

Tom. 

One of the reasons I started destroying my body all those years ago, and why I still do. One of the people who instilled in me that I wasn't good enough, or worthy of love, not even his, not even when he was my boyfriend. He made sure I always knew he was settling for me. 

The thought of my time with Tom, Mom, Dad, and Rose started sending me into a spiral. I slowly sunk into the wall of the farmhouse and slid down to the floor. With my knees in my chest, I hugged myself as tight as I could as the tears started falling and my breath started expelling from my body rapidly. 

Tom. Tommy. Thomas Greenfield. I thought he was the love of my life when in reality, he was all my worst nightmares wrapped up into one person. 

I sat like that, feeling like death was going to consume me any second for hours, even through the knocking on the door, which didn't seem to go away. I couldn't hear who it was, not even if they were male or female, I only heard the knocking which was loud and mildly in pace with my heart. I don't even think I noticed it stop until I saw a face in the back window, a face that had become all too familiar. 

Sebastian.

Once he had confirmation, I was inside he rushed back around and came through the door. Kneeling in front of me. My ears were ringing, I couldn't hear any of the words leaving his mouth as I watched his lips move. 

His hands grasped my shoulders as tears continued down my face, I couldn't stop shaking, even though my body ached for me to stop. My breath still couldn't calm down, and the ringing in my ears persisted, he looked frantic, trying his hardest to help calm me down. I saw an idea flicker into his eyes before he moved next to me and hugged me tightly, slowly guiding me closer to him until I was sitting in the fetal position over his lap, my head in his chest. My body slowly released into the calm he radiated. The first to stop was the ringing in my ears. I could finally hear his words as one arm held me in a tight grasp, and the other was occupied by running its hand through my hair. 

"You're okay, you're safe. Nobody can hurt you. I promise I'm here. I'll protect you."

The next to stop was the shaking, it slowly halted until I leaned against him motionless, tears still running at a rapid pace, only now my arms wrapped around his torso as I held him as close as I could, finding comfort in his presence. 

The tears seemed to continue for another hour. After they stopped, we sat there, on the floor, in silence. 

"What happened?" He asked, breaking the silence. 

"I got to thinking about my past, about my ex, it brought up memories I feel are best left forgotten. I'm sorry you had to see me like that but thank you for being here." I explained, giving him, what he was due, a small window into my life that nobody here knew. Barely anyone back home knew the truth about Tom. Only Rose and she had told me I deserved it all. I believed her. 

"Always."

One word. One word was all it took to tell me that he really was different. As broken as I was, but in different ways. One word and all my problems seemed to vanish as I melted further into the safety of his arms. It truly felt like as long as he sat there holding me, nothing in the universe could hurt me. 

But I wasn't ready. 

I wasn't ready to let someone in, I wasn't ready to figure out if I had feelings for someone new. I was still a shell of a person from my last damaging blow, and someone like Sebastian deserves someone who is ready. 

I regret not being able to be that person for him. 

One thing I knew for certain, Sebastian was safe. He had no intention of leaving, maybe he wanted to leave the valley, but he didn't want to leave me. He was stable, he was safe. He was like a walking feeling of being at home. 

Sebastian got up as I began shivering, soon becoming much more aware of the brisk night air that had consumed the farmhouse. He started the fire in the fireplace, handed me his hoodie, and brought me over to my bed, where he curled up with me, throwing a blanket around us, and turning on the tv. 

"So, what are we watching?" He asks, glancing down at me, a soft smile on his face. 

"Won't your mom worry about you?"

"I texted her a while ago. I didn't tell her what happened, just that I think you needed some company for a while. Now, am I picking the first movie, or you?" He explains, resting his head on mine after mine had fallen into place on his shoulder. 

Sebastian was everything, he was my person. He has certainly become the closest friend I have ever had, and maybe that's all he will ever be. My friend. But right here, right now, I'm okay with that. Right now, it's Sebastian and Bex against the world. 

"You pick."