Redemancy

38.

Amara

"Enzo, I'm sorry, but I don't like this." I say during dinner, not liking what he's cooked today. I'm grateful that he cooks everyday but this just isn't it.

"I think it tastes great." Aeron says, and I can't tell wether he's being sarcastic or not. Probably not, I don't think sarcasm is in his vocabulary.

"It tastes like horseshit. Why'd you put capers in it? Ruins the whole taste." I'm moody. It doesn't actually taste like horseshit. It's pretty alright, but I just don't like it that much.

"That's okay, baby. I'm sorry you don't like it. Want me to order Thai for you?" Enzo says with a sad and disappointed look on his face.

Well, now I feel bad.

I stand up from my seat and walk around the table towards Enzo's seat, placing myself in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Its not that bad, it doesn't taste like horseshit I was just being a bitch. I just don't like the capers." I say before yawning. "Im sorry for being rude. I don't know what came over me." I say before standing up.

"I do." Xerxes says from next to Enzo after I stand up, pointing to Enzo's pants, a red stain on them.

Oh god.

I got my period?

Fucksies.

I haven't gotten my period in months!

I laugh it off before running up the stairs towards my room, as I hear several chuckles coming from downstairs.

I walk into the bathroom, undress myself as I see my shorts are stained with blood, along with my legs and my entire pussy.

How the hell did I not notice this?

This is gross, I think to myself, my cheek wet with tear stains out of complete embarrassment.

I stand under the shower, cleaning up down there before I just stand there, looking at the wall.

God, I'm exhausted.

I hate my parents. Why the hell do they want me back? I'm not even theirs to keep. Ugly mother fucking ducks.

I loved them with all my heart and they just left me there, with Patrick.

The worst of all of it is that they left me with him on purpose. I don't even know how foster care or whatever organization let that happen. But I bet if they're involved in the same business as my guys are, they bribed them with tons of money.

But they put me with him, they let him rape me. Even besides the fact that they left me, no parent would let their child get raped, not a good one at least.

They make me so angry and I don't feel like I can talk to my guys because they somehow don't understand.

It's like they do understand, but they don't understand how it makes me feel. And even though they're always here, it makes me feel so alone.

But I swear if I ever see my mother again, ir my father, I'm going to kill them.

They're not my parents anymore. Im parentless. They left me, I moved on. And look where I am now. I couldn't possibly be happier.

God I hate Patrick, I hate fucking everyone that has made me feel this way. I hate people.

And so I scream.

I scream as loud as I can, at the top of my lungs for what feels like hours while I stand under the way too hot shower, but I somehow can't turn it off.