afflicted

29: The day of the final battle...

The stress on Feyre's body had caused her to have an early birth, delivering her son just last week. Rhysand had hidden her away somewhere to heal and care for their child as far away from the battle as possible. He wouldn't tell anyone where she was, but Callie had a feeling it was wherever Azriel had been planning to take her when he'd begged her to leave.

Cassian, Azriel, and Morrigan were to hold the front line. Amren right behind them, almost as a failsafe. Elain had gone to care for Feyre and Nesta had refused to be kept from the action. She and her friends had formed a female fighting unit that Cassian and Azriel had personally trained. They would fight.

Callie wasn't a fighter, but for her plan to work, she needed to make it onto that battle field. She'd just barely convinced Azriel to allow her by telling him she would be working as Madja's assistant to help patch up wounds and provide medical care to their warriors. He'd only agreed because he knew how far away that would be from the action. She had no skills to offer Madja, but she would help with cleaning wounds and wrapping bandages.

Azriel found her before she went to find Madja. He wordlessly pulled her into his chest, leaning his head down to rest on top of hers as he held her. Callie blinked the blur of tears from her eyes, a few escaping down her cheeks.

"I love you," he said as he held her.

"Why does that sound like goodbye?" She said into his chest, fighting to keep herself from falling apart.

"In case something happens to me, I just need you to know," he said. She pulled back, looking up at him and the pain that had become so familiar with his beautiful features. She missed the light in his eyes and the way his laugh sounded. She missed the playful way he would joke and all the times they'd argue about something silly. She missed the boy who climbed through her window at night to hold her until she fell asleep. The boy who secretly loved lemon squares and who'd kept a stuffed animal from his childhood because it was sentimental to him.

The man in front of her was void of everything that made Azriel who he was. He looked like he hadn't slept in months. His alight eyes now just looked exhausted and hopeless. He'd lost himself in this war. The thought of it threatened to rip Callie's heart in half. He deserved so much more than this. He'd deserved to find his happiness and get to have peace, and now she wasn't sure he ever would. But she would fight with everything she had to give it to him.

She placed her hands on his cheeks and looked up at him with so many things she wanted to say to him but couldn't find the words. He turned his head to kiss her palm.

"I love you more than I think I will ever be able to tell you. If this is the ending, I would still choose you over and over and over just to have gotten the time I had with you. It never would have been enough time, but you opened up something in me I hadn't even known was there. I'm not sure 'I love you' suffices anymore for all that I feel for you." He leaned his forehead against hers for a moment before Cassian bellowed down the hallway that it was time. Azriel's entire body stiffened and he pressed a kiss to Callie's lips so softly she wasn't even sure she hadn't dreamed it.

"Come back home to me," she whispered against his lips. He nodded, pulling away and kissing her forehead before turning his back and walking down the hallway, clenching his fists and opening his hands to spread his fingers. He didn't look back at her, and she was almost thankful for it.

She got to the medical tent a few minutes later. She helped Madja begin to prepare by sectioning out bandages, cutting cloth into strips that could be used to staunch the bleeding. She set out the bottles of disenfectant and any other supplies she thought the healer may need as she worked.

She heard a horn somewhere in the distance, likely signaling the beginning of the fight. Callie chewed at her nails, bouncing her leg in the chair she sat in. Madja placed a hand on her arm and gave her a mournful look that told her she knew how she felt. Callie couldn't even begin to imagine the things the healer had seen over the years of working for the High Lord.