Ascension - Book Eight - Man x Man

Chapter 129

"Probably for the best, I know you'll want to do a perimeter check of the property." I excuse away his avoidance of our children, knowing it wasn't personal, it came with the foul temper of a warlord on the mend. The man was used to a miraculous healing time, this seemed to be dragging on, yet we underestimated just how broken his body was. 

If I wasn't a lycan myself, I might have noticed more quickly that he was leaning on me slightly for support. He was almost limping, sore from being seated for so long. This was the reason he was so upset, so foul, he would be unable to do a proper perimeter check in his current state. He'd be slow, he'd be vulnerable and relying on me to keep us safe. 

Pulling my lips into a thin line, I squeeze his arm, "Actually Tomas, can you come help us for just a bit? Maybe I can make us a quick lunch and we can settle in before you go. My stomach is tricky these days, it would be nice to make something for myself and Verando is never as fond of my cooking." Light-hearted as I can manage, Tomas quickly obliges me while Rowan seems slightly more concerned. 

I owed it to him to at least do what I could to make him feel at ease. 

Loading into the car, Verando willingly slides into the passenger seat as I opt to drive. Car sickness was less likely if I was the one directing the vehicle. Verando was brooding, and I was sorting through how best to help him. His brow pulled down just slightly, his body emitting a heavy aura of distaste for his current situation, I could unravel those features all day and attempt to dissect exactly what he was going through. 

Perhaps it was the nature of the fight, that something so simple turned into something so complicated, or I could also fathom that the simplicity of it was why David was able to catch us off guard. Over and over my wolf played that scene in my head, watching my husband become a play thing for the creature. 

I'd seen it once before, that was enough, and never to that extent. A deadly blow to his pride, not only was he injured, he could be defeated. Verando's hand slides to his side once more, shutting his eyes and tilting his head back into the seat with a slow, controlled exhale. 

"Are you hurting?"

"Would you like the truth?" He asks, his voice low, hard. I wait patiently for that truth, keeping both hands on the wheel to avoid touching him. 

"I've got an ache that is very hard to fill. Something I've avoided and never truly addressed, I've mostly just cycled through addictions. Opium, cigarettes, alcohol, sex... all that's left in this body is me, and I'm not quite a fan of 'me' right now. This darkness is bloody well overwhelming as if I can't breathe, and when I do it's like knives going down my throat. I'm good with pain, I'm not good with dealing with... this." He mutters, keeping his voice low, staring at the ceiling of the car. 

I feel a cold nose between the arms over the seats, Eve rested her head on the armrest so that she could touch him. 

"This?" I ask, keeping my tone even. 

"Whoever the fuck this person is sitting next to you. This body, this trashed, beat-to-shit body."

I flinch, letting him vent, trying not to take it personally. 

"I'm obsolete, worthless. Too afraid to take a damned shower without shaking, too damaged to carry my own bags-" he scoffs, clenching his hand into a fist hard enough that his knuckles pop. "Every time I close my eyes, I see Sota laughing at me, with that smug grin like he knew this was going to happen. It's like a line of everyone I've had to pass to get to this point is linked together somehow, pulling me down, waiting until I let my guard down."

A single tear streaks down my cheek, I quickly blink it away, keeping my eyes focused on the road and letting him speak. "You're tired. We're all tired. You were fine just three days ago-" I try and reason with him, I never understood this part, how he could be laughing and happy and then telling me that he was drowning. It wasn't something I'd gone through, not a demon I'd struggled with.