Into the Honeyverse

Cover Me Up x Morgan Wallen

"Javy Thomas Machado!  Are you ok?  Please tell me you fared better than I did?" 

I jerked back to eye him, instantly regretting it because holy fuck does everything hurt.

"I'm fine, Bubs.  You pulled your chute too low, I'm guessing because you were barely conscious, which is why you probably feel like you've been hit by a truck.  My landing was textbook, only a few scratches from the trees on the way in, but I'm perfectly fine otherwise."

"Does...does Jake know?  About the baby?" A fresh round of tears starts leaking down my cheeks. 

"Yeah, he does.  He...might have found this out under the insinuation that he was your fiancée when he called.  They said they wouldn't give out any info if he wasn't family, and since y'all don't have the same last name, he said you were engaged.  Which is why they told him about the baby so easily.  I'm so sorry, Honey.  I'm sorry I didn't do more to keep you from getting hurt."

Javy's grip around my shoulders tightened and I felt his own tears drip onto my shoulders.

"Don't you DARE.  You protected me better than anyone else ever could.  Don't even think otherwise.  You saved me, ok Javs?  I may be your backseater, but you've had my back more times than I could ever count.  I'm gonna be just fine, I promise."

Present

Javy barely left my side my entire hospital stay, which lasted a little under a week.  Once I was stable, I was sent home on medical leave to rest for the next 2 months at minimum.  Since I was on crutches for 5 weeks to heal from the surgical repair of my hip, I decided to crash with Penny and Amelia.  Their house has no stairs, comes with two mother hens who double as guard dogs, and a certain blonde haired aviator doesn't have a spare key to let himself in. 

I haven't been able to face him since they returned 2 weeks ago.  I've ignored every call, text, email, and hell, even Instagram message from him.  I'm not ready to see the look of disappointment I'm sure he'll be wearing.  Not only had we not talked about having kids, we hadn't even discussed whether or not we were even exclusive.  Did I know neither of us were seeing other people?  Sure.  But we hadn't had the conversation.  Plus, I had and lost his baby.  I'm close enough to both him and his family to know that he's definitely hurt.  I'm not ready to hear him tell me he can't do it anymore, that he can't look at me without seeing what he lost.  Despite every plea for me to call him, just talk to him, I leave him on read.  He's man enough to let me down in person, he won't do it via text.  So maybe, if I just keep ignoring him, I won't have to feel the hurt I know is coming when he tells me he's done. 

Javy, Nat, Bob, and the rest of the Daggers have tried telling me that I have the wrong idea, but I know they're just protecting me because they know I'm fragile.  Between all the therapy to help me heal from the event and process my future, I've been a train wreck. My physical pain has all but disappeared, only a few twinges here and there if I move just the right way.  But my emotional pain hasn't made much progress.  Getting over the terror of almost dying in the wreck, the damage the injuries did, losing the baby, and the constant anxiety over my future in the navy has been heavier than I ever expected.  I've slowly warmed back up to everyone.  Everyone but Jake. 

And the old lovers sing
"I thought it'd be me who helped him get home"
But home was a dream
One that I'd never seen 'til you came along

Jake
The squad finally convinced me to join them at Penny's tonight for Mav's birthday.  I'm holding out hope that I'll bump into Honey tonight, but I don't think my odds are favorable.  Knowing her, she escaped the house she's been staying at before everyone else was expected to get there.  She can be evasive when she wants to be.  And damn does she want to be.  It's apparently a surprise party, so she asked us to all come straight over from work since Mav planned to stop by Ice's grave on the way home.  I walk up to the door, a bottle of Mav's favorite scotch tucked into my elbow, and lift my hand to knock on the door.  Before my knuckles make contact, the door is yanked open to reveal Penny with her finger at her lips to shush me. My brows raise in confusion but I roll with it.