Into the Honeyverse

Worse Than Treason

Summary: Briar does her best to get Jake's attention, but nothing works.  So she decides to try the one thing she knows will make him see red

Briar

I honestly know better than to try and get Jake's attention when there's a UT football game going on. But I couldn't help it, I usually have Mal and Morg here to help entertain me and they're both busy today.  So now I'm bored.

"Hey Jake?" I ask. 

No response.  Cue eyeroll. 

"Jakeyyyyyy," I try again. 

Still nothing. 

I wonder how far I could take this?

I start shuffling around the house, tidying up where it's needed, and try a different approach.

"Hey, honey, can you come here real quick?" 

Jake jumps up and yells at the tv over an offside call, clearly unaware that I even said anything.

"Ohhhhh, handsome!" I call from the kitchen where I grab myself another drink.  When I return to the living room, he's pacing the room like a madman.

Texas and Oklahoma are playing and the Longhorns are tied at 14-14. 

"Wanna see my boobs?" I test, but am cut off when a Texas player intercepts a pass and runs 40 yards for a touchdown.  If he heard me, it's long forgotten in the excitement. 

I plop on the couch next to him with a huff, trying to think of what to try next other than stripping naked and sitting in his lap. 

"Jake, honey, I'm pregnant.  And it's Rooster's baby," I tease, thinking that would be what gets his attention. 

My plans are thwarted AGAIN when Oklahoma scores, tying the game once again. 

There are 47 seconds left on the clock and Texas has possession.  Time to pull out the big guns, because there's no way in hell that this game can beat me for his attention.

I stand up and walk around the back of the couch, stopping right behind where he's leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.  My hands grab his shoulders and tug him backwards gently, and his body complies without a second thought. 

Once his broad shoulders are settled against the back of the couch, I lean down, and say the one thing I know will make his blood boil. 

"Boomer sooner," I whisper into his ear.

He instantly jumps up and is facing me, an incredulous look on his face. 

"The FUCK did you just say?!" Jake yelps. 

"Ahhhh, there he is!  I've only been trying to get your attention for the last 30 minutes!  I was starting to worry I wasn't the love of your life anymore," I playfully pout.

"Darlin', your lips are too pretty and your tongue is way too talented for those nasty words to ever have left your mouth.  I oughta wash it out with soap!" He shudders dramatically.  "I better not ever hear that blasphemy ever again!"

I'm feeling extra sassy, so I toss a smirk his way along with my reply.  "Or what?  What are you gonna do about it?"

As the words leave my mouth, Texas scores and wins the game.  I prepare to pout, expecting his focus to snap back to the tv, but the Texas in me slips out before I know it.

"Woo!  Hook 'em baby!" I cheer.

When my eyes land back on Jake, his own are locked on me, full of heat. 

"Oh so nowwww you wanna pay attention to me," I tease.

"Yes I wanna see your boobs, no the fuck you aren't pregnant, especially with pornstache's baby, and I'll happily teach you a lesson, you mouthy little minx."  His signature toothpaste commercial worthy smile spreads across his face.  "I can't believe you uttered those words!  It's a crime worse than treason, Tinkerbell.  You prepared for the punishment?"

Oh shit, I know that look.  I'm going to both love and hate what's next, so I decide to make it even more fun. 

"Gotta catch me first!" I say, taking off in a run across the house.  Unsurprisingly, Jake catches up to me in less than five strides, and I find myself flung over his shoulder.  Jake's fingers find my ribs and tickle relentlessly until my back hits the mattress. 

"You're in for it now, baby girl."

The deep rumble of his chest and the bass in his voice lets me know I'm in for a long night.