afflicted

27: 1.5 months before...

"You know he'd never allow it if he knew," she said, exasperated and exhausted. Callie sat in Rhysand's office. Rhys sat in a fancy chair behind a polished wood desk, Cassian leaning over his shoulder to get a better view of the map.

"And he'll kill me when he inevitably finds out," Rhysand growled, frustratedly shoving the map away. They'd been staring at it for hours now. When Callie heard this morning that Rhysand was sending Azriel on a mission, she knew this was her one chance to make her move.

"He won't find out," Callie assured.

"How can you know that? The bastard knows everything," Cassian gruffed.

"Because once we leave this room, there will be no more talk of it. Once we leave this room, our plan is in motion." Callie shrugged like it was simple. The answer to their problems had dawned on her the night she held Azriel in her lap after listening to him beg to save her life. She wondered if he'd ever had the same devotion be returned to him. Well, he would now.

"I can't put you in danger knowingly, Calina," Rhysand sighed, rubbing his hand down his face as he absentmindedly toyed with the pen on his desk. "I won't do it."

"You will," she commanded. "You'll do it because as much as you don't want to admit it, your wife and son's lives are worlds more important to you than mine is." Rhysand didn't meet her eyes and Cassian stared at a nick in the floor, seemingly miles away.

"I can't do that to him," Rhys shook his head. "He'd never forgive me. I can't put him through that pain." Cassian swore under his breath, pacing the carpet and biting at the insides of his cheeks. He looked beyond exhaustion.

"You need him more than you need me," she argued. "I have no place in this war. I can't fight and there isn't enough time to teach me, and I have no helpful powers to save the day like the rest of you. I won't just sit by while everyone else dies. And they will, Rhys. If you don't let me do this, everyone will die."

"You might die," he bit back.

She shrugged.

"I'm willing to take that risk if it means he lives." Her words were so final, so firm. She had never felt confident in this way before. She knew what she had to do. And if that included her walking into the lions' den, so be it. He'd do it for her with no hesitation. "You know I'm right, Rhys."

He didn't deny it.

"When the time comes, I'll be ready. You'll know my signal when you see it. I'm doing it with or without your help, so you might as well take the opportunity to save your family." She stood up, dusting off her clothes as she readied herself to head back to her room and attempt to get some sleep.

"You're part of that family, now, Callie," Rhysand replied.

"So let me save it. Goodnight, Rhys." She turned on her heel, walking out of the room quickly and allowing the door to click shut behind her. She'd just have to believe she'd done enough to convince him. This was the only way to survive this war, and Rhysand knew it, too. 

She was banking on his participation but would do it alone if it came down to it.