Our forgotten past (#3)

29.

Chapter twenty nine | Amara
I can't sleep, been squirming in my place for over two hours, and my eyes can't seem to close like a normal person, I groan internally and sit up, averting my gaze on my husband like the creep I am.

His brows are furrowed in distress, sweat gathers on his forehead as his pulse rises in his neck, he's having a nightmare, it doesn't take a genius to figure it out, I act on instinct and tug on his neck tightly, placing his head higher on the pillow.

He lets out a low groan, the only way to stop the terror that's shooting through his body right now is to wake him up, I caress his shoulder softly at first before whispering his name.

His eyes snap open moments later, his breath heaving, chest rising with rapid breaths, "It's okay, just a nightmare." I comfort and inch closer to him, still caressing his arms.

His face is a mix of agony and fury, I don't know what he saw and we don't need to discuss it right now, not at all, "Just a nightmare, babe." I whisper against his ear.

His eyes focus on me, the strict lines of his face dimming beneath the light, softness morphs into his sharp features as his breathing starts to calm, and he clears his throat, his Adam's apple bobbing with the motion.

"What time is it?" The only way to describe the edge in his voice is that the dream is still revolving in his mind, the past days have been hell for him, we still haven't discussed anything about Sasha, and with what has been going on, I don't think we will anytime soon.

But there's no need to rush because speaking of it will open my situation as well, Ezekiel won't just let go of the random breakdown I had out of nowhere, but I resent this talk before it even happens with all I have so I'm avoiding it as much as I can.

"It's 3 am." I reply, my voice slightly gentle, his brows furrow as he scans my whole frame, "You haven't slept, have you?" He questions, I clear my throat, not liking the turn this is taking.

"Nope, thankfully though, do you want to—maybe eat and drink something since I know you won't sleep again?" I'm fucking awful at this, maybe just spitting the words out in my usual tone would've been better but I'm trying to be calmer right now for him.

His earlier expression falters, looking amused all of a sudden, "Talk, Amara, your words won't hurt me." He states dryly, I narrow my eyes in a glare, contemplating if maybe making him suffer in the nightmare would've been better.

No alright that's too far, but I'm still a step away from slapping him or kissing him, I'm honestly confused, maybe I'll do both, "Will you fucking eat with me?" I raise a brow and a small tugs at his lips.

"Ahh look, my woman is back." My woman, it tugs at my heart as I stand up, my eyes holding his unnerving gaze, "Say it." He raises a brow challengingly, I narrow my eyes.

"What?" I ask, not giving in to the game he's playing, he breathes out, running a hand through his hair that's currently falling across his face, "I'm not your anything, just because I've been kind doesn't mean that you're going to own me." I protest, not sounding mad because I'm not, just slightly pissed and touched at the same time.

See? That's what I hate about my relationship with Ezekiel, it's fucking confusing, I cannot understand what I'm feeling, nor can I distinguish between the sudden urges that I feel.

"I don't think you and the word 'kind' can be anywhere near each other." This is when I actually feel annoyed, like for real, "I am kind." I protest because it's the truth, "Whatever makes you sleep at night." He shrugs it off.

I roll my eyes, "Well I barely do so enjoy." I shoot back, his expression remains blank, almost devoid of emotion, "Hilarious." I groan internally and start walking out of the room, he takes the blanket off, and my brows jump and hit my hairline as I take him in.

He's naked.

Totally, not an ounce of cloth in view, he stands up, black ink spreads in different forms across his chest and down his hips, Ezekiel is the kind of man you could stare at for hours and not get bored, his muscles are shredded as if he spent a specific time sharpening every ab, his torso narrow and muscled, and then a sharp v-line that lead to-

Nope, absolutely not.

"Uh oh, I cannot believe my eyes, darling, are you blushing?" He raises a brow playfully, I try to ignore his dick that's in my face, almost half erect already, the fucking pervert, "Why are you naked?" I groan, covering my face in my hands, feeling my cheeks heat up at the moment.

"Why shouldn't I be?" Of course, he'd throw the question right back at me, I don't even feel him approaching so I startle the moment his hand wraps around mine as he slowly unravels my sight.

My eyes snap up to meet his, he's so close, so fucking close I can smell his scent, his dark eyes bore into mine, glistening with lust and something else, something I almost don't want to know, while his hand brushes my hair, his other one cups my cheeks and then the back of my neck.

His breathing has changed, he's clearly affected by this considering his hard cock that is currently poking my stomach, his arousal is clear in his black eyes as he sucks in a breath.

Mine has turned frantic as well, and while I've always been as bold as him at daily biases, maybe even dominant as him as well, but here's where I step back, it's mostly cause Ezekiel is dominant as fuck in bed, which wasn't exactly surprising, but I didn't like being the dominant right now at all so it was a win for both of us.

And just in a second, my thoughts come to a halt as he smashes his lips down on mine, I deepen the kiss as my hand comes up uncontrollably, tugging at his dark strands on instinct, he groans in my mouth and his chest vibrates in approval.

I let out a soft moan, my arousal spiking as my hand starts descending down his body, from his neck then his naked tatted chest, he curses as we slightly pull back, catching my breath as my chest heaves with fast rises.

I close my legs, desperate to find any friction, a small smirk tugs at his lips, and then he jostles my legs, his hands around my waist as he carries me with effortlessness, I gasp at the sudden movement before I realize what he's doing as he strolls out of the room.

He places me on the counter so that we're on the same level, I reach out for him and he smiles, not a smirk, a real genuine smile, "I'm here, darling." He whispers before placing his lips back on mine, I smile into the kiss so much that he has to stop because he's practically kissing my teeth,

He looks back up, his smile turning into a grin, I haven't been this happy for so long I can't even remember, it's not even about the sex as much as it's about us, how close we are, it's so intimate and just touching, which is exactly why it's been so hard for me to just hookup with a person and move on with my life.

This is meaningful to me even if most people view it as something normal, useless maybe, 'i love you' is on the tip of my tongue but I hold it back, it's hard to instantly go back to the way I was with Ezekiel, even though I realize right now what happened, but it's still hard to hundred percent believe him, it's just how I feel even though I know it's not true.

He must sense my thoughts because he brushes a strand out of my face, placing it behind my ears, "I love you." He whispers before hovering his finger over my lips, "You don't have to force yourself to say it, it's okay, I get it." I almost cry at his words.

Tears well in my eyes and I curse myself internally for ruining the moment, he raises his brows playfully, "Beautiful." He whispers, brushing my tears away, I let out a tearful laugh and smile, brushing my lips with his.

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Sorry I haven't posted in 2 days 🤞🏻😭