Meant For You

7.

Jade.

Last night was...not what I was expecting, at all.

I called Kiki telling her I wouldn't be coming into work today simply because of how I was feeling.

I can't lie I'm...sad, angry, disappointed. All of these emotions that I can't quite put my finger on.

It's hard to even process that I may have just lost someone who is like a sister to me, and the worst part of it, is that it's someone being my daughter has even grew a close bond too.

Last night opened me up to see the true colors of everybody in that room and who really showed to have my best interest at heart. Apart of me wishes last night didn't even happen, and that maybe Chris should've had his album release party in a club or something.

Not sure if the setting would've changed what happened or make it worse but...

I sigh as I continue in my own trance of thoughts. At this point, I don't even know about anything anymore.

After shooting Kiki a quick text, she asked if later could she, Paige and Myron all come over to talk. I said sure and left it at that.

In the living room, I watch Zaria as she continues to play in her playpen. I smile at how fixated she is on building her blocks correctly before knocking them down clumsy.

I then hear footsteps nearby, as I look up to Chris heading down the steps, grabbing his keys along with his phone.

"I'm 'bout to head to the studio" Chris says dryly.

After our little argument last night, me and Chris barely said a few words to each other. And honestly, I don't like the feeling of me and Chris being at odds due to the factor of our friendships getting in the way of business and personal life.

I sigh tiredly, assuming Chris didn't want to talk any further, "Ok, drive safe"

Chris then looks up at me briefly giving me a quick nod before heading over to Zaria, plastering numerous kisses on her face while she giggles hysterically, attempting to push her daddy's face away with her little hands.

I smile and laugh a little at their exchange.

Chris then approaches me by giving me a quick kiss on the top of my forehead, "See you later" He says.

I look up at him and smile weakly, "Ok"

Soon as Chris left I felt a tear come down my face, feeling and getting emotional about this whole ordeal.

Does...does Chris blame me for this?

For all of this?

I shake my head as I continue to watch T.V., or should I say letting the T.V. watch me rather.

5 p.m.

Kiki, Symphony, Paige, Myron and Roxy all came over to keep me company and to talk.

I made me a quick dinner. A small pizza I had in the fridge with some red wine. As my whole day felt drowsy and right now food is becoming the main coping mechanism of the day.

"Listen last night...I ain't gonna lie, it was crazy" Myron says bluntly.

I scoff, "Hmph, tell me about it"

"But it wasn't your fault" Kiki says as Symphony nods in agreement.

"It felt like it was" I respond, "Really, like it is"

"Things sometimes happen, shit got crazy but at the end of the day you realize who's good to keep in your company Jade, you wouldn't of been able to predict what ol girl was gonna do" Roxy explains.