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I slowly opened my eyes immediately noticing the bright hospital lights beaming down on me. My body ached like hell and just for split second I forgot everything that happened, until I didn't.
I tried to sit up causing my heart rate to spike. My mom ran into the room, "Kheumoni is up!" She yelled. Everyone ran into the room following behind her. I heard a bunch of 'Are you ok's' and 'I love you's.'
I didn't want to hear anything unless it was about my baby or Makhi.
I reached down to feel my stomach. "The baby is ok! Everything is fine." My mom touched my arm.
"Where.. is... Makhi?" I asked weakly. I looked around for Teresa, but she wasn't in the room. My heart dropped.
"Baby..." My mom's face fell.
"No... NO!" I yelled trying to get up. Dee tried to hold me back and i winced in pain.
"No!" I cried, feeling defeated as I dropped my arms and held my head down. Dee draped his arms around me and just held me as I broke down.
"Please, I have to see him!" I yelled tears streaming down my face.
A doctor rushed in and ran over to me. "Hey, I don't want you to put your body in any more stress." She gently tried to push my legs back in the bed but I refused.
"Please let me see him!" I said softly wiping my eyes. Her face dropped as she remember the 2 bodies being brought in from the ambulance. Makhi and I
"Ok." She replied nodding her head. She quickly grabbed a wheelchair and helped me in it. She gently pushed me to his room, where the door was closed.
Dee followed beside me and squeezed my hand as I knocked on the door. Teresa opened the door with tears streaming down her face. Her eyes were bloodshot and the veins in her forehead were strained.
She immediately hugged me, for what seemed like minutes. She finally let go and stepped aside to let me in the room.
That's when I saw him. His lifeless body. The monitor flat-lining in the back. There was a nurse standing at the foot of the bed writing the time of death.
"BABY, NO!" I screamed out clutching his body. I felt all over his face, he was so cold. I held my head down holding his hand and just cried. I cried and I cried and I cried.
I couldn't imagine a life raising a baby with an absent father. I wanted our child to experience the joy of having 2 parents present and active. I had to rethink all of my plans.
Dee walked up to me and rubbed my back. "You ready Moni?" He asked. I slowly kissed Khi's hand before Dee wheeled me back to my room.
-
"Good afternoon, Ms. Brown." The doctor walked in. "I want to keep you for a few more days to monitor you and your babies health. Everything seems fine but I know your friends death could impact future behavior. I'll check back in with you in a while." She smiled with a nod and walked back out the room.
I looked down at my fingers and started to bite them. "Don't do that." I heard Khi's voice ring out in my head causing my eyes to tear up.
This was going to be the worst year of my life.
- 4 Days Later -
"How are you feeling?" A nurse walked into the room closing the door behind her.
I flashed her a quick smile before looking away.
"Good news, I have your discharge papers right here. You're free to go now Ms. Brown." She walked over to my mother and handed her the papers before talking to her.
I tuned them out just thinking about the memories I had with Makhi. "I got y'all forever, til the day I leave this earth. I promise you that." His words replayed inside my head. My whole heart was taken from me, man. Ripped outside of my chest.
The nurse turned around to leave and as she opened the door there stood Dee and Lele. She greeted them then slid right past.
Dee held a bag full of my clothes. "Wassup Moni." He walked over to my bed setting the bag down. Lele followed behind him and held my hand. "I'm so sorry boo, I can't even imagine what you're going through." She said softly.
"We all here for you best." Dee added while giving me a hug.
I slowly sat up from the bed and grabbed the bag heading for the bathroom. I quickly changed into my clothes before walking out.
"Cmon." Lele said before holding my hand and walking me out the hospital. She led me to my mom's car and opened the passenger door for me. Major deja vu hit me as I pictured Khi sitting in the drivers seat eyeing me.
She stood at the door, "Ima come see you, ok?"
I nodded my head, then she hugged me before closing the door. My mother got into the car and slipped the key into the ignition.
"Can you take me to Khi's house?" I asked softly.
"Mhm." She hummed before pulling off from the hospital.
-
I walked into Khi's room instantly smelling his cologne in the air. His bed was neatly made and of course he had a wood rolled on the dresser.
i missed him so much.
His mother walked into the room with his phone in her hand. "Do you know the password?" She asked softly. I grabbed the phone and touched the screen seeing us as his lock screen. I swiped up and typed in my birthday.
"Is it ok if I see it first?" I asked politely. She nodded her head and walked off.
I went to his camera roll seeing dozens of pictures and videos of us together. I clicked on one of me sleeping.
"Look at ha ass slobbin." The camera zoomed in closer. "Do yo bitch look good sleeping fuck nigga?" He turned the camera back to himself and the video ended. I smiled with a tear running down my cheek as I clicked on another video.
He was in the car driving, occasionally looking down at the camera. "This to my unborn son, I already know you a boy, I can feel ts in my soul and my intuition never wrong. Daddy love you boa." He looked down at the camera smiling then looked back up at the traffic. "You getting big and it's finally hitting me that ima be a dad." He rolled his window down as he was at a red light. He turned to the car beside him with a wide smile "Oh nun, just me finna be a dad and shit." The video ended. He was too goofy.
I dropped the phone and covered my face as I began to cry.
