Solacium

Ch 38: Vorian

"Blake, there is something I must tell you," I said after I had pulled away.

As Commander of the Zurian intergalactic fleet, I had been on numerous missions across galaxies and accrued more injuries than I could count. But nothing had come close to being as painful as this.

It took everything in me to separate myself from Blake, but I forced myself to. I had no other choice. Holding her in my arms, I realized that for the first time ever, she trusted me. Or at the very least, she was opening herself up to the possibility of trusting me.

It was a jarring realization that immediately filled my being with guilt. It felt wrong, to have her trust when I did not deserve it. At least, not while I was still hiding something from her.

I was so lost in my emotions, I acted without thinking of the consequences. But, in that sobering moment, I knew that what I was doing was wrong. It was deceptive, and the last thing I wanted was to hurt her. But I feared I would if I further delayed telling her the truth.

But it was a difficult decision. Here before me, Blake was finally opening up to me. She was showing me that she trusted me and perhaps even returned some of my feelings for her. And I was risking ruining all of that.

As soon as I pulled away, Blake recoiled. I watched in dismay as she removed herself from me as her expression morphed into one of confusion and hurt. Seeing that, I instantly came to regret my actions.

"No! Please, Blake. Let me explain," I said, reaching out to take her hand in mine.

Fortunately, she let me hold her, and as I had hoped, the action seemed to settle her slightly and I let out a breath of relief.

She had not fully pulled away, at least, not yet...I thought to myself, as I prepared myself to tell her.

It scared me, how quickly she had begun to shut herself off to me and I felt panic rush through my body as I thought of what to say.

My mind raced, and yet my words failed me. I wasn't sure how to put it.

There was so much to say, but how?

Where should I even start?

If I said this in the wrong way, everything could change.

"Tell me what?" Blake asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

Her green eyes were guarded as they searched my face, waiting for my answer.

"It's about my mission..." I began cautiously, hoping to ease her into the truth.

For her to take this well and not absolutely hate me, it had to come from me. And in the right words. Which, considering I was still very much a stranger to Earth's culture, would be a daunting task.

"Oh," Blake answered, her brows knitting together into a disappointed frown. Though I noticed she seemed to relax slightly, and I cursed to myself knowing that she already misunderstood my intentions and I hadn't even admitted anything.

How could I have already messed this up?!

I opened my mouth to try and correct the situation when suddenly the door swung open. In response, Blake immediately ripped her hand from my grasp to glare at the intruder.

I let out a long breath. Just like that, my opportunity was gone.

Grabbing my Terran chest covering off the ground, slipped it over my head before sending a dark look over at whoever had the nerve to enter.

To my frustration, the irritating Terran Blake had called "Damian" was standing in the doorframe, a slow smile crossing his face that made a frown appear on mine.