The Ugly Mate [EDITING NEEDED]

s i x

s i x

Days have come and gone with me in this poor state. My parents had decided that my behavior was so abnormal and worrisome that they thought it best if I took a week or two out of school.

A week turned into two weeks, two turned to three, and three turned to a month. Most days I had spent in my bed, alone and crying. If I wasn't in my bed then I was either trying to keep up with my basic routine as best I could. I would shower, I would brush my teeth, comb my hair, clean my room, and I would eat. Eating was one of the only things that I knew how to do with a straight mindset. I'd eat to try and push away some of the negative thoughts that my mind would conjure up. Eating would numb the pain that I felt inside of me but only for a brief moment. When it was gone, the emotional pain would return in a horrible wave. Not matter how bad I don't want to admit it, eating was slowly starting to a comfort that I run to.
There were days where I'd leave the house because being depressed was too much or my family's need to treat me like a baby would become aggravating. I would go to the park, sometimes school, and even the library. I would venture out when I either had enough strength to get up or when getting out of the house seemed to lessen my pain, it distracted me for a few hours before go home and start my crying again.

I was currently out in the woods sitting by this little stream that was maybe two miles into the back of the property. No one really came out here unless they were going for a run or for hunting. People these days were too busy with Twitter and what not to enjoy the beauty of earth. I just sat there mad the sun started setting.

It was even darker considering that the trees was becoming maid of the sun. I leaned my back against a big rock and closed my eyes. The sound of the stream was probably the only peace I've had in a while.
The trickling of the water was like music to any ears.

I shifted my body so that I was now laying on my hip and my arm being used as a pillow. For once I'd didn't want to go home. I wanted to stay here away from everyone. I just didn't want to go home just to end up crying in my room. I've had enough of my sadness. After all, it just adds another reason to list of reasons of why I'm pathetic.

It had been about about two months since the incident between me and Gaston happened. He's seemed to be okay. He went on with his life like he did before we met. He's still strong and looks healthy. I'm happy for that. I don't want him to suffer like I am.

My pain on the other on the other hand just seems to strengthen with every waking day that I have. I feel as though my heart will give out on me at any given moment. I've tried my best to keep up my façade when I'm around my family.

I've lied to them about getting better. I smile around them and laugh. I do whatever I can to trick them into thinking that I'm on the road to a recovery when really on the inside I feel like I might die if I make one wrong move. But it doesn't matter. My family seems to believe that I've moved on from the attack that I had and that alone is enough to make me continue lying to them. If me lying could make my family not worry about me then I'll continue to do for their sake. They shouldn't have to worry about me like this.