Hear Your God Speaking

| Chapter: 1 |

Chapter 1

The sound came suddenly ringing again and again, her eyes flickers open and she turns beside her where her night stand is, and hits the red dismiss button on her phone. Finally silence, she said to herself. She could feel herself going under again, and she thought to herself just a few more minutes of sleep. Seconds after, the sound came unexpectedly and shocked her out of her slumber. Ten minutes had passed after her supposed time to wake up, and she knew, the longer she battled between how much more time she could sleep before she ran out of time to get ready, she'd be late for school, so she just got up. No matter how early or how late at night she slept the day before she could never found the right amount of time to sleep. Her sleeping habits changed dramatically after that summer, it was much worse then, but it has gotten better. Night after night she has anxiety attacks. She would have dreams of being in that dark room and remember what had happened to her, in waves they'd come and she wouldn't have a second to process it all. It starts with her heart racing, sweating, she'd start screaming in her dreams, and she'd have cuts on her face and body from the scratchings of her nails. Her dreams took her to dark places at night and they were so vivid and almost realistic. When she was having her dreams she could not distinguish them from visions and reality. She tried to find a way out, but there was no way, and finally when they were over she'd wake up and still have the feeling of the man gripping and suffocating her in her dreams. She trusted no one not even her family, because she was beginning to think they were out to get her at night. Even when the doors were locked and the window were shut she could not find relief or liberation from her nightmares.

Alex was fully dressed in her all black outfit, ready to head for school that morning. During her school shopping with her mother and Lauretta, she precisely chose anything that was the color black. She knew that the way people dress themselves described their mood, and everyday she felt glim, like a dim light in a large room. Of course her mother made some other choice of clothing for her so that he closet wouldn't look the same throughout. Her mother has always accepted her decisions and tried not to pry even though deep down inside she felt the urge to do so. Her mother knew Alex was highly sensitive and delicate and all she needed was space. It sounds simple now, but all her mother ever wanted to do when she found out the bad news was holding her in her arms to keep her from falling apart. She wanted her to come running in her arms whenever she needed to cry and tell her that everything would be alright. The hardest part for her was to step back and not force her to do anything she just wasn't ready for yet. Whenever her time has come and she wants to open up about it, she wants to be there and for every minute of it. She learned not to be so consumed by it all and although she can't help but wonder the depth and the weight Alex is holding on her shoulders. Her mother believes she can fight the good fight and become an Overcomer.

Lauretta shows up downstairs with her red blouse, faded blue jeans, and red close toed wedges. Her hair is in it's curly natural state, as I prefer to straighten out my hair just to put it in a neat bun. Our brother Heath takes us to school every morning ever since my sister and I were fresh-mans. We are Junior's now and he's a Senior and pretty soon now he'll be checking out, and I'll actually have to put my car to use instead of leaving it in our garage. For the time being I enjoy our rides to and from school when it's just us. We all stick together and we all have each others back, we are like a team and there is no one we trust more than our friends and family. Its not all perfect and time to time we do get under each others skin, and arguments do arise, as easily we forgive and move on. Heath is well known around school for his extrovert personality, wherever he goes he has to be a social butterfly making conversation with whatever draws him to the person. He naturally has a charm to him that keep people interested and wanting to know more about him. He's well rounded, we all are, because our parents have always made it a priority for us to travel and meet people different from us. Our father always quoted Maya Angelou, when she said, "Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends." He taught us how to accept people for who they are, even though how they look, speak, and how they live differentiate from how we look, speak, and live should bring us to want to learn more about one another, not separate us. (Continue to scroll down)

I'm more introverted when it comes to meeting new people, I won't be the first to make the first move when I'm so observant. I watch how a person interact with people, and if there is something that turns me off about them I won't make an approach, it's a bit judgmental, but it hasn't served me wrong ... Yet. Lauretta could just stand inside a room and absorbed the energy, and she's easy to approach, not intimidating. She's adventurous, open minded, she makes you feel safe, and comfortable. She can hangs out with a group of people, but she has few friend she keeps in her inner circle to keep her grounded.

We arrive at the school's parking lot where a few students lurk around until the ten minute warning bell rings to head to class. Heath makes no effort to find a parking spot closer near the school, but instead parks a block away. He cuts the car engine and grabs his belongs and on the way out tells me to lock the car door. He dashes across the street and runs into building 6 to catch up with Jacqueline. Lauretta and I know his routine by now and we aren't surprised, that he's doing all that he can for the one he loves.