Restore (Sequel to Purge: Larry au)

Chapter 21

Two days later

Louis wakes up alone in his bed with a pounding headache. He groans and rolls over, smashing his face into the pillow. He fully regrets quitting-cold turkey and not doing it gradually like Zayn had suggested, but he needs to prove to Harry that he's willing to do better. 

Now though, his head is aching, and his whole body is sweating and shaky. He knows that the withdrawal symptoms are going to be terrible for the next few days, but this is even worse than he imagined. The urge to go to the store and buy a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of vodka is so strong, he has to grip the edges of the bedframe to prevent himself from jumping up and getting in the car. 

He rolls over again and grabs his phone, texting Zayn.

Louis: please come over

Louis: i really really need someone to stop me from relapsing

Zayn: I'm omw don't go anywhere don't buy anything

Sure enough, six minutes later, Zayn's walking into his room and sitting down on the bed. 

"Talk," he says. 

"Everything hurts," Louis groans. "I shouldn't have quit entirely, I should have eased my way out of it."

"At this point, mate, I'd say you're far enough in that you shouldn't change your mind," Zayn tells him. 

"I really want to go buy some cigarettes and alcohol," Louis whines. "If I just had one, I know I would feel so much better."

"Physically, maybe, but you'd feel guilty," Zayn says. He looks at Louis with a hard expression. "You got yourself into this mess. Get yourself out of it. Be tough."

Louis groans and buries his face in the pillow. He knows Zayn is angry at him for what he did to Harry, but he's so grateful his friend is still willing to help him get better. 

"I saw Harry yesterday," Zayn speaks up after a while. 

Louis raises his head quickly, but then winces when it makes him dizzy. "Is he okay? He hasn't responded to my messages."

Zayn sighs. "He's heartbroken, Louis. But other than that he's fine. He and Darcy are staying with Niall and Ella. Darcy's having the time of her life; Niall's giving her ice cream every day. But Harry cried three times in the hour I was with him."

"God, I hate that I did that to him," Louis says, fisting his pillow angrily. "I feel so guilty, Zayn, how did I let it get this bad?"

"I don't know. But this is why we're fixing it."

Louis glares at his pillow. "What did Harry say to you?"

"That he's glad you're getting help," Zayn says. "He's happy you've quit smoking and drinking. He says he thinks you have PTSD."

Louis sighs. "I think I figured that out, too. After he left, I spent some time thinking about everything that's happened and everything wrong with me. I've been getting flashbacks, and nightmares, and night terrors of the war and the camps."

"That sounds like PTSD to me," Zayn says. 

Louis nods. "I think I've known it for a while, but I didn't want to admit it."

"Denial is a river in Egypt," Zayn jokes. 

"Shut up," Louis grumbles. Then, "did Harry say anything else?"

"He still loves you," Zayn says. "He misses you, and he hopes you'll get better so he can come back to you soon."

Louis turns over and stares at the picture on his bedside table. It's a photo from his and Harry's wedding day. Harry's holding baby Darcy on his hip, smiling brightly at the camera. His beautiful green eyes are shining as Louis leans over to kiss him on the cheek. They look happy and carefree and so, so in love. Louis wishes the people in that picture never had to grow up. He wishes they never had to face the reality of a life after the war where their problems turned from physically fighting others to emotionally fighting themselves.