Don't Blame Me

Chapter 14. Little Talks (Part 1)

She sighs before speaking, "Y/m/n, it's not your fault. None of what happened is your fault." She says sincerely.

"I shouldn't have been drinking so much, though..." I try to justify, but Kiara shuts me down immediately.

"No, stop that. It shouldn't matter how much you were drinking. The fact that you had any alcohol in your system is already a factor that makes anything non-consensual. Stop blaming yourself for something that wasn't your fault." She says looking deep into my eyes so I know she's being sincere. I know I have tears building up but I try to hide them as best as I can alongside the migraine that's beginning to form.

Thankfully, Key pics up on me not wanting to talk any further about what happened, and switches the topic.

"What about Taylor? How do you feel about her?" she asks.

"I don't know if she's straight or not or I'm just gonna be some sorta phase for her." I begin to say before she cuts me off.

"Labels don't matter, y/m/n. Just let her be. If she wants to date women, then so be it. Just respect yourself to let her know that you don't want to be some fling."

"My heart needs a break and I really like Taylor and her music, and if she were to ever do something to hurt me, I firmly believe I will not recover. With as much as the world and the media talk about her, It would just hurt way too much, Key." I explain.

"I get that, but don't settle for someone you don't want. Dakota doesn't deserve that. You said it yourself. Just take it one day at a time. Follow your heart and tell your brain to shut up, for once. Taylor needs to make a move on you. That's what you want. You want her to tell you she wants you, and she hasn't. Everything that's happened between you two, you believe is circumstantial. So just see how you feel with Dakota. I'm not saying commit to her or be with her at all, but just see where things go and how you feel with her. You two worked things through, so if you want to be with her, then that's fine too. Who knows, maybe you like her a lot more than you think. Maybe someone else will come along. Maybe you'll stay single and thrive. Who cares? Just as long as you're happy. In the meantime, get to know Taylor some more, and understand what she's like if she's seeing or is even interested in anyone. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself by trying to see if these women like you and figure out If you even like them." Key says confidently.

For the first time in a long time, I'm actually speechless. Leave it to Kiara to give the best advice.

We spend the rest of the afternoon catching up. She tells me about her trip to North Carolina to see her family and mentions how much they miss me. Unsurprisingly enough, they're already planning Thanksgiving, even if summer is just now starting. Her family is pretty great though. They like to always have something going on and are the kind of people that love to have many guests and parties. They're pretty much Calum and my family, even if they didn't technically adopt us, they were always supportive and would help us as best as they could. I talk to Key about my meeting today with Vivian. My boss isn't a hard ass, or at least to me, so I wasn't too worried about what she had to say. Plus, Axel said that she was impressed with my work, so I really had no reason to be. She just informed me that there's a Broadway gala event this upcoming week and she wants me to take pictures of the big names to put on the UMG website. It's basically an endorsement of upcoming musical theater artists and how the label supports them.

The day seems to go by fairly quickly when I notice the sun is already setting. As Key and I talk over the movie that's playing, I hear my phone ping with a notification.

Tay🥂

Hey! I know you're probably tired from all the travel but I bought an ice cream maker and it came in today! Do you wanna make some with me tonight?