Part of Them

Part 36

"Yes, pretty much. Really, almost anything is possible. It should just have a harmless, hopefully useful effect," Rayi answered.

Wait a minute, why wasn't he asking me which direction the curse should develop after the original effect was removed? I think I am the only one in this room who has the right to decide about that.

Alerus would be one of the last people I'd let decide about something like that. He'd probably end up cursing or "charming", what he would like to phrase it as, to stay indoors for all eternity to keep me healthy and supervised.

Now what would really be a useful charm would be some kind of enhanced healing abilities or some much needed growth spurts. There's so much to improve about me.

I was just about to open my mouth and start complaining about my lack of influence on this decision and start giving advice for directions, when Alerus spoke again.

"So... technically, we could bind him to this building or a person, correct certain behavior problems, immobilize him, or some much more useful stuff, right?" He asked, mischief glinting in his eyes.

I swear to god, I'll piss in his cereal if he even considers doing something like that. He's got to be joking.

Rayi gave him a meaningful look.

"Anything is possible."

I gulped.

"How about you enhance my healing abilities a little bit, let me age some more or give me some cool superpower?" I spoke with a pissed off undertone. "Something that's actually useful for me?" I continued. I needed to get those nasty ideas out of their pretty little heads.

"You won't be needing any of those fancy abilities if you stay with us," Alerus spoke as he turned on his heel and headed straight for the door.

I silently cursed him and his entire bloodline under my breath. He and the others were completely rotten inside. They were only thinking about their own benefits.

While I was glaring at the door he just left through, Rayi turned to look at me.

"You know, that curse mark has really taken an effect on you," He spoke pitifully. "But don't worry. All that doubt about our actions and this lifestyle will go away as soon as I manage to lift it," He continued, as if what he was saying was some seriously sentimental stuff.

Speaking of sentimentals, when exactly did Rayi become so considerate about others feelings? He used to be completely numb to others emotions and even appeared soulless at times.

Was it because he had to hold himself back when he was still on my side and trying to backstab the others? Maybe now that he has finally let his guard down and has come to peace with everything, he's more open and relaxed. He's probably living out his true character right now.

"Are you even listening, Faer?" He broke me out of my train of thoughts. "The curse mark is seriously turning all your feelings around and it's messing with your head. Technically, you're feeling the exact opposite to what you'd usually feel. If you're revolting against the thought of staying with us for all eternity, you'll probably like it after the curse is lifted," He stated, looking me deep in the eye, as if he thought he was really reaching and touching me with his words.

"But didn't you say it was a developing curse mark? What if the curse hasn't reached such an extreme extent yet and is just slightly shifting my feelings? What if the thought of staying with you guys has been extremely revolting for me before I was cursed and it's just slowly making the thought less revolting over time? Then, won't removing the curse only worsen my problem?"

I spoke softly, enjoying the effect my words had on Rayi when he stared at me wide eyed.

My theory was very plausible after all. Before I met Linda, before I even started life in the woods and in abandoned towns, I ran away for a reason. And I wasn't cursed back then. I truly felt like I could not live with them any longer. I couldn't take all the baby-treatment I was getting from them much longer. While my body didn't seem to mature at all and still looked like a cute child, my brain had entered adulthood and being pampered all the time wasn't really my dream anymore. I started to notice their possessive attitude and their constant supervision. I was able to criticize their behavior and notice how wrong it was. And that's why I decided to get the hell out of there.

Now that I've come to think of it, I was really rebelling a little less against their possessive behavior. Of course I cursed the hell out of them when they weren't looking, but I wasn't putting up much of a fight anymore and just accepted the way they treated me nowadays.

What if it's really like that? What if lifting the curse would only make me hate them more than I do now? Would it be wise to lift the curse? I'm doomed to live here forever anyways and if I start despising everything here more than I already do now, I'll end up going crazy I think. It would probably be like a life sentence to jail, but with the meanest prison guards and an eternal life to spend there.

That wouldn't be life, that would be like the afterlife in hell.

Choking on that thought, I lifted my eyes to Rayi's still open wide ones. Had he thought that far too? Has he come to the same realization as me?