Last Seen Dead | ONC 2023

15 | saying goodbye

Over the next few days, Ethan let himself think about anything besides Florence. He started to pay more attention to his mental health and he noticed he was a lot unhappier than he thought.

Acknowledging you had a problem was the first step towards improving things, he reminded himself, and by changing his routine, he noticed that he was starting to gain back energy he thought he didn't have. His walk to the donut shop the other day had become a regular occurence.

Every morning, he would walk there and then ask for a new flavor each time. The cashier there that he thought he would never see again, he learned that her name was Emily and he looked forward to seeing her every time, too. The way her face lit up in recognition every time made him smile. He really felt like he was becoming a regular and as silly as it was, he enjoyed their donuts.

It made him want to explore his neighborhood even more. Maybe go to the park and have a picnic but at the same time, he had all the time in the world to do that. Maybe once he felt ready to walk further, his next trip could be to that park and after that, who knows? He was thankful to live in such a walkable city. If he lived anywhere else, he would be forced to drive a car to go places.

That Friday night, he met with Kailani and he told her everything he discovered. It was very hard for her to hear and as expected, she started crying, which only made Ethan start crying.

But eventually, together, they were able to help each other grieve. Ethan realized that night that overcoming his grief would not be an overnight thing and some days would be harder than others.

It was probably something he'd be dealing with his entire life, and even though he thought he wasn't close with Florence, she still made an impact on his life in ways he hadn't expected.

He was thankful to have gained Kailani as an unexpected friend to rely on, and once they both had time to process everything that's been going on, he wanted to try and get to know her for her. And not just as someone they had a mutual friend with. For starters, he hardly knew her hobbies.

In some ways, Ethan felt thankful for being chosen as Florence's post-mortem confidant. He hadn't been able to do much for her but he felt like she was helping him more than he helped her.

And then he remembered the final question that the AI had posed for him the other day.

Except this time, he think he finally had an answer that he was happy with.

▽

It was his second year of university and he had just begun taking a philosophy class as his chosen elective. Ethan had always had a passive interest in philosophy and he was hoping to learn a lot in the class, even if none of his roommates shared his interest or told him it was a bad idea.

It was his first time taking a class where he didn't know anyone but to his surprise, someone sat down in the empty seat next to him instead of the dozens of other empty seats in the lecture hall.

"Is it fine if I sit here?" she asked, glancing at him.

He looked over at her, staring into her blue eyes. He was filled with the sense that he had seen her once before but he couldn't quite place her name. All he knew was that she was popular.

So, why sit with him?

"I don't mind," he said, after a moment.

He thought the conversation would end there and maybe she would be the kind of student to plug their headphones into their ears, waiting for the lecture to start, but he was mistaken.

"My name is Florence by the way," she said, rummaging through her bag to get a notebook out.

That day, he remembered thinking about how her blonde hair looked like a mess, as if she had just gotten out of bed and ran to class, worried about being late or something. She had a large cup of coffee with her, too, and she kept taking sips from it every so often, as if her life relied on it.